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you will feel (Free verse) by nentwined
you will feel my pain every ounce, every FLUID ounce of every drop of my blood as every razor scar erupts: one giant burst of ecstasy-- I AM HERE! and now I'm gone.

Down the ladder: Octopussed

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 121
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0416665
Weighted score: 7.0280023
Overall Rank: 212
Posted: March 27, 2003 10:11 AM PST; Last modified: March 27, 2003 10:11 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 27-Mar-03/11:45 AM | Reply
I have always been founder of the brave puncturer not the teasing mutilator.
[3] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 | 27-Mar-03/5:02 PM | Reply
I must say I thought that was going to be good just from your first line but nope. Not really sure what went wrong but it ended up a trainwreck. -3-
[6] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 28-Mar-03/8:42 AM | Reply
Scenes of full metal jacket emerged
[7] Frass @ 205.243.24.65 | 28-Mar-03/2:05 PM | Reply
'as every...' is a strong line, Nntwnd. I think there's more to this poem in your head; I'd like to read it.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 2-Jun-03/4:34 PM | Reply
Razor scars, how powerful and sublime.
[8] deleted user @ 12.219.155.182 | 5-Jul-03/12:26 PM | Reply
Good. Is it an analogy of death?
[n/a] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 > deleted user | 7-Jul-03/7:50 AM | Reply
Not exactly an analogy; this, now that the category has been created, should more properly be a "pimple poem". It was meant to be a condensed version, saying more the intent of such poems than actually trying to mimic the style. "You hurt me, but I can hurt me more! But I want you to feel my pain! Please? Ha, I'll show you!" :/
[6] LuV_jOhNnY @ 198.108.232.44 | 6-Jan-04/8:06 PM | Reply
Spiffy! Very dark. kinda wierded me out though
[3] windyone @ 63.245.189.142 | 25-May-05/4:24 PM | Reply
have a good trip
[n/a] nentwined @ 64.60.192.130 > windyone | 25-May-05/4:26 PM | Reply
It continues, yes.

Thanks for the three. :)
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