| Re: a comment on Pinches by peaceseeker |
26-Nov-03/2:16 AM |
F.u.b.a.r = fucked up beyond all recognition.
A pity only I have read this. I had prepeared an analytical critique on your poem but you probably wouldn't comprehend it so I will not waste my time in bothering.
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| Re: a comment on Islands Of Our King by Caducus |
24-Nov-03/3:46 PM |
I just think islands is a sad metaphor. Men sent to oppose tyranny from a King who acquired a commonwealth through tyranny. These men ended up killed by the very crown and catle they were protecting, ironic and sick. Also moats are there to protect a kingdom and these men became islands in moats (again islands) of which became there graves, and of which remained undiscovered forever. I could try and make this clearer as i have such deep thoughts on it yet found it challenging to even touch upon.
THanks to everyone for commenting on this, it's a theme close to me as I had a Grandfather who fought in WW2 his father beforehim in ww1
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| Re: Wanting by Samantha |
24-Nov-03/7:41 AM |
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respect for trying a sonnet, i like your mojo austin 7
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| Re: Sweetart by Bachus |
24-Nov-03/7:40 AM |
Very good horus,
you did not bore us
T'was a fine old chorus
ye had here for us.
Sorry I'm high on furniture polish - must get back to work soon man.
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| Re: Breeding ground. by INTRANSIT |
24-Nov-03/7:36 AM |
Patina - cool word like it
Thes people are fused by self = typo in line
Found this absorbin i/t ! I know i'm looking in to this too deep but the line - high class in to deep atlantic made me think.
High class people are deemed to be shallow, cold water is deep, can you find the antonym?
Other than that it was all hits in the right places and it's a very layered poem - 8 = B+ = :0)
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| Re: Pinches by peaceseeker |
24-Nov-03/3:31 AM |
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Some interesting lines but it's FUBAR in many places, seperate in to stanzas the changes of direction and that will not terrorize the eyes so much. - no vote yet
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| Re: Teenage Guidance by Shit-Crumpets |
24-Nov-03/3:25 AM |
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| Re: Ode to my Poopy by Samantha |
24-Nov-03/3:24 AM |
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Dark Angel will sue over this
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| Re: Mecca was mud in my backyard by Y2kSlamPoet |
24-Nov-03/3:18 AM |
I have to say it's been agres since i last read you and in that time you have evolved in to a good writer with a modern style to drag poetry in to the year of your user name. S2-4 are exquisite. Here's a midas number :-) Happy to see poemranker making reasons for nentwined to be happy that he's creating good poems.
Group hugs everyone
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| Re: Murder means oil for Bush's coffer by DreamerSupreme |
24-Nov-03/3:13 AM |
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More of a rant than a poem, however I can rant and this for the most part flows like still nudes to the eye. 7
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| Re: an early discovery (reworking) by richa |
23-Nov-03/5:43 AM |
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someone who deserves the top my friend 10
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| Re: a comment on Islands Of Our King by Caducus |
23-Nov-03/5:39 AM |
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Yes I have Y2K (reading wilfred owen lately). I find that their is a sick irony that a king sent thousands of young men to their deaths to protect England from oppression and a commonwealth obtained by the very acts of barbarism he fought against. I saw many pictures on old b/w footage of men in trenches they dug that became their own graves. Nuff said, but the only positive thing in this poem is something spiritual which we have no proof of, lets hope their is a peace after this life.
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| Re: What I know of monsters by Bachus |
21-Nov-03/2:54 PM |
Cracking
Werewolving my tears
back at the moon. I race through thickening
changings and habits too sooned.
class !
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| Re: a comment on A Parable Of War by Caducus |
21-Nov-03/6:10 AM |
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Thanks. I have been reading Wilfred Owen lately and his stuff hits real hard.
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| Re: Boxes by INTRANSIT |
19-Nov-03/4:18 AM |
try damien hurst and you'll make yourself blled from scratching.
very true point.
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| Re: a comment on A Cup Of Tea & Company by Caducus |
19-Nov-03/4:17 AM |
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| Re: Call Vegas!!! by INTRANSIT |
11-Nov-03/4:01 PM |
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| Re: a comment on A Truth About Mortals by Caducus |
6-Nov-03/7:53 AM |
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I AGREE ABOUT THE ZOO THING SO HAVE DELETED 3 LINES - THANK YOU OH DARK ONE
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| Re: a comment on A Truth About Mortals by Caducus |
6-Nov-03/7:25 AM |
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I am trying to convey that things are not what they seem but can appreciate what you are saying and will dwell on it. If it was someone who hadn't a clue i wouldn't bother - but i respect you so will.
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| Re: The Thrapper by You are a fat fucker |
6-Nov-03/7:10 AM |
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