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Pinches (Free verse) by peaceseeker
gave away my secret recipe for conjuring up poems to your fly-by-night mask. the price I would pay for loving the unloving power hungry, deaf in the ear of humility and female humanity listening for the woman song humming the ancient melody dancing together like trees attracted like a tributary to the stream of sweat down your lips into my mouth as we kissed instead of speaking strangers in a nation approaching spiritual death, and rebirth war in the world is war within and between when intentions are as primal as a lusty animal not in love with human reverence for the rounding of my belly with the son we'll never have. this time, it didn't take long to transcend your pinching pain on my waist, which led to illusions you didn't mean it when you pinched me, both sides of my waist, on the skin exposed above the beltloop of my jeans. you, the transient mountain guide roaming the states of America playing your cards like a cowboy throwing $2. bills, the next day at the consequence in my body you created with your barbarism and I created, disillusioned by the illusion you presented me. a hard drink, spiked with roofies the Big Band alive with the energy of the Aerosmith concert, just let out that night, with rumors that Steven Tyler would show at the bar.

Up the ladder: Poetry.

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.7142856
Weighted score: 4.654218
Overall Rank: 12292
Posted: November 23, 2003 10:04 AM PST; Last modified: November 23, 2003 10:16 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Caducus @ 195.92.168.163 | 24-Nov-03/3:31 AM | Reply
Some interesting lines but it's FUBAR in many places, seperate in to stanzas the changes of direction and that will not terrorize the eyes so much. - no vote yet
[n/a] peaceseeker @ 24.97.224.6 > Caducus | 25-Nov-03/10:17 AM | Reply
I don't know what FUBAR means.
In fact, I don't understand anything you said.
[n/a] Caducus @ 195.92.168.165 > peaceseeker | 26-Nov-03/2:16 AM | Reply
F.u.b.a.r = fucked up beyond all recognition.

A pity only I have read this. I had prepeared an analytical critique on your poem but you probably wouldn't comprehend it so I will not waste my time in bothering.
[n/a] peaceseeker @ 63.164.145.33 > Caducus | 26-Nov-03/7:15 AM | Reply
guess you can't recognize art when you see it.
F.F.R. (for future reference) just FUCK OFF - how am I supposed to comprehend you when you don't make any sense?
[n/a] Caducus @ 195.92.168.169 > peaceseeker | 26-Nov-03/10:30 AM | Reply
I suggest you stop your vacuous attempts at writing poetry. Also Amazon.com have a fantastic half price dictionary on sale so you can understand bigger words.

It is not my fault your poetry sucks like a porn queen.

Do you understand that fuckwit?
[n/a] peaceseeker @ 63.164.145.33 > Caducus | 26-Nov-03/2:52 PM | Reply
I suggest you consider counseling to help with your obvious mother complex.
If you don't like my poetry, then don't read it.
Again, FUCK OFF.
[n/a] Caducus @ 195.92.168.166 > peaceseeker | 26-Nov-03/3:59 PM | Reply
I think your lost my dear, this is poemranker and you are a shit poet and I have no mother complex, just a mother fucker complex and you are it.

I will not fuck off but if oyu wish to bring my mother in to this - fine - it shows you for the stinking steam on shit you are.

You Cunt.

[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.180.252 > Caducus | 26-Nov-03/4:03 PM | Reply
Whats the point of insulting a dodo bird?
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.180.252 > peaceseeker | 26-Nov-03/4:00 PM | Reply
Relax. All he did was suggest line-breaks so that it could be more readable, and less jumbled? And you got anal over it.

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