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Breeding ground. (Free verse) by INTRANSIT
My lips blast bullet words as I pass through this city where bumpers are as good as the middle finger. This city that breeds homeless directly into the gutters, and bears the high class into cold atlantic educations that cramp the mind. La Guardia and j.f.k. are nothing more than pimps for other coun- tries. These people are fused by self serving subway ideals and sharing is dumpster row. Central park is a tool for relieving dogs. And liberty inviting the huddled masses stands only to collect patina. These people would waste no time elbowing John Donne into the hudson. I can't believe they call themselves critics. I will never bow to this city.

Up the ladder: Sailor Dress
Down the ladder: Your Eyes

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
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.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
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.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.3333335
Weighted score: 5.62753
Overall Rank: 2208
Posted: November 13, 2003 1:40 PM PST; Last modified: November 24, 2003 8:14 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Caducus @ 195.92.168.169 | 24-Nov-03/7:36 AM | Reply
Patina - cool word like it

Thes people are fused by self = typo in line

Found this absorbin i/t ! I know i'm looking in to this too deep but the line - high class in to deep atlantic made me think.

High class people are deemed to be shallow, cold water is deep, can you find the antonym?

Other than that it was all hits in the right places and it's a very layered poem - 8 = B+ = :0)
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.198 > Caducus | 24-Nov-03/8:16 AM | Reply
the atlantic sentence should be taken as a whole. typo is no mo.
thanks for the flowers. anything else I might have done better?
[10] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 | 24-Nov-03/8:48 PM | Reply
INTRANSIT - ill say u doing great
[n/a] Joe-joe @ 170.28.4.4 | 25-Nov-03/8:38 AM | Reply
Sounds like somebody cut you off on the Grand Central Parkway! Yeah some of what goes on in this city sucks but, to be honest with you, I've lived here all my life and desire to live no other place in the world. While it is true that NYC often reveals the worst possible human qualities it is also is loaded with great people doing great things every day. Unfortunately these people and their stories don't get much press so we are left only with the type of stereotype so elegantly reflected in your poem. By the way. Lady Liberty does not collect patina....she undergoes a thorough washing every six months.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.198 > Joe-joe | 25-Nov-03/2:47 PM | Reply
I know. The irony here is, I was born in NY. NYC infrirmary.'67.
My parents moved us all to Colorado when I was three. My grandmother took me back and on a ferry trip for a few days. I made mention of this in my poem "common ground"
New York aint (all) bad.
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