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an early discovery (reworking) (Free verse) by richa Kept tidy with cutting
the row of spruce to the fence,
a night crept around it.
And like the nights impinging darkness
I,
grew
over twenty years
so high to look over
and down the embankment
at the weather worn willow
an infant
in mind.
Up the ladder:
Reality
Down the ladder:
Small Teeth in a Glass Bowl
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3125
Posted: November 8, 2003 10:27 AM PST; Last modified: November 8, 2003 10:27 AM PSTWeighted score: 7.0368433 Overall Rank: 37 Comments:
[n/a]
horus8 @ 24.126.116.54
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8-Nov-03/1:16 PM
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Reply
Your wanker award alone catches a ten from this poeat.
Pity the trees that stoop- 10.
For the record, I don't agree with deleting comments. And I don't agree with your wings either. This cut SOUNDS perfect to me and I followed it easily. I think the problem with the springs was you were trying/thinking about compression springs versus extension springs. The only extension springs I can think of are on screen doors and engine throttles. Both bad Ideas for a poem.
O.K. sounds right to me
Interesting twist to identify with the upright tree instead of the willow (especially in the willow's weather worn-ness), which most poets would probably prefer.
someone who deserves the top my friend 10
i like it - 9 -
-emlyn 301 view(s)
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