| Re: "My Love" by wickedemon4 |
26-Nov-02/3:48 AM |
I wrote something like this once for my girlfriend.
She finished with me and looking back who could blame her?
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| Re: Johannesburg 2002 by Blue Magpie |
26-Nov-02/3:52 AM |
So they pissed you off huh?
This IS a confounding and impressive piece, well done -8-
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| Re: Liar by Goose |
26-Nov-02/3:54 AM |
This would be better as a Haiku, as it stands its still good but I would be interested to see how much more you could say with less.
Hope I haven't cooked your goose, Mr Goose -7-
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| Re: Cocky by Goose |
26-Nov-02/3:55 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/4:00 AM |
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here a 7 for being so cult about the occult
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/4:23 AM |
Fate is cruel ! Nelson now has thousands of Pidgeons shitting on his arms (oops I mean arm)
I liked this -7-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/4:28 AM |
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This was like fucking the ice queen from narnia (Cool as a fuck) so take this fat lady and give her a hug *8* BINGO.
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| Re: Maliced flame by T'ien |
26-Nov-02/4:31 AM |
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Not a bad 'ad break' read *6*
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/4:36 AM |
Bollocks to her age let it go !
this poem is timeless, but Ms Calvetti (sounds like a tennis player) if you are lying about your age Bachus will get the secret agent smurf to find out
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| Re: Maria's ways on how to deal with puberty! by little_angel_maria |
26-Nov-02/5:20 AM |
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| Re: Another Chance by Bonehiss |
26-Nov-02/5:40 AM |
I always find it difficult to rate your work as your obviously a hopeless romantic, who writes unchallenging, simple writings. I'm giving you a 6 on this because their is a purity to your work. However I have to criticize you on one aspect and that is the lack of originality in your work, it is a very basic 'greeting card' style with little fibre and alluring qualities.
Fair play to you though, none of us here are Hemingway at the moment, just lose yourself more in your imagination and you'll find more satisfaction in your creativity.
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| Re: What's the Point of Love? by loneshadow29 |
26-Nov-02/5:46 AM |
The point of love is the 'falling' as it grounds you.
Love is A heroic loser seeded within the pounding pastures of our crimson core.
(at least you got me inspired)
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| Re: The Abyss of myself by ciantu |
26-Nov-02/5:57 AM |
I've been saying this shit for years.
Every now and then i read something on this site and it restores my faith in the human condition, you sir are ahead of your time with this poem, stanza 2 is right their kicking like a mule. *9*
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/8:19 AM |
I never thought Whores slept.
A cheeky 7 for kicking the strumpet and cracking me up
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| Re: Maliced flame by T'ien |
26-Nov-02/8:21 AM |
Your a nutter, nice title !
*******************6***************
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| Re: Lloyd Street Interlude by jdsnyd |
26-Nov-02/8:51 AM |
This deserves more than a rush read so I'm taking this puppy and taking it for a walk inside my head.
I'm interested in this give me some leads???????
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| Re: two poles are better than one by <~> |
26-Nov-02/9:20 AM |
not sure about the end, i can tell this is personal, made me think of feelings locked in a chrysalis, but the ending needed the butterfly and you left me cocooned in your confusion. As a thinker i get lost in whats there, whats not there and could be there.
Heres a 7 for screwing my head up, and giving me an idea for the shitty bus ride ahead of me !
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| Re: The Epitaph by vulcan |
26-Nov-02/9:38 AM |
Vulcan !
This could be really good and I see you've re edited it. But....its still flawed check line 8, change the opening of line 10,
take your time I f****g love beginning and end but the aforementioned's gotta get sorted.
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| Re: blinded by bxjay170 |
26-Nov-02/9:43 AM |
Pull up a chair, put your feet up, bite the end off a cuban and listen up !
I want to read your work BUT as i am reading it my flows interupted by crap spelling and i have to start again - NOT FAIR MAN ! I know some people on here get fucked off with being told they havent spelled this or that right but as poets in our own ego masichistical ways we are striving perfectionists so as i said change it and throw you my vote [[[thanks///
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/9:45 AM |
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A caviar of fish working class meets royalty.
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