Poemranker [Poem: Another Chance] [by Bonehiss] Thu Nov 21 12:34:29 PST 2024

If I had another chance To live my life with you, My path would have a heart once more My soul would be as new, I'd show the world my love for you My beloved jewel, my bride, I'd never seek another I'd be always by your side, And when my final days drew near I'd face the setting sun, To dream through all eternity Of the life we shared as one.

[6] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 26-Nov-02/5:40 AM | Reply

I always find it difficult to rate your work as your obviously a hopeless romantic, who writes unchallenging, simple writings. I'm giving you a 6 on this because their is a purity to your work. However I have to criticize you on one aspect and that is the lack of originality in your work, it is a very basic 'greeting card' style with little fibre and alluring qualities.

Fair play to you though, none of us here are Hemingway at the moment, just lose yourself more in your imagination and you'll find more satisfaction in your creativity.

[n/a] Bonehiss @ 172.194.175.124 > Caducus | 26-Nov-02/9:49 PM | Reply

Thanks very much for your comments. I've never
considered myself romantic, only hopeless at times.
Currently, however, I am in love with a
hopeless meth-amphetamine addict who was the inspiration
for an earlier submission "Fire and Fuck", not exactly
what you would expect to find on a greeting card. I would like some input on that work. I thought it would have recieved some comment but it hasn't. Thanks again.

[6] hobojo @ 166.94.9.204 | 26-Nov-02/7:35 AM | Reply

This poem sounds like words of a cheating man - too eloquent - to easily muttered, too slick.

[n/a] Bonehiss @ 172.194.175.124 > hobojo | 26-Nov-02/9:53 PM | Reply

I'd have to get lucky first to be able to cheat