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echoes

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 Nov 2002 · 5 comments

an echo told me where to go it took me beyond all i know where i saw you sitting there shovel in hand and ground bare digging a grave below a dome surely the foundation for our home. dead ends are never completly that only so if you've gone flat out of air and sinking fast strongest patch could never last long enough to save tomorrow went to yesterday to borrow the memories of the ride so i may drive to a horizen wide. now is not the time to test me still a bit winded from my flee so long since i've traveled alone silence has never been a lovely tone until your drums bust from chaos now i'm surviving beyond us i have gained more without using new knowledge on route to the familar town i see up ahead medication taken from my empty bed.

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5 comments

[8] Bachus 11-Nov-02/3:31 PM Reply

great last line, but second stanza last line "horizon" and or hori-zen which could be better, but since you don't have any other hyphens going on any where else it wouldn't look that good i guess...interesting notion though...just forget everything i said..i'm stoned and squandering my time unwisely again...has anyone seen a better manager or agent floating around here..i need a new one. bad.

[6] <~> 11-Nov-02/6:00 PM Reply

i think you force the rhyme at the expence of the experience in this one brazen. sorry for that.

[n/a] brazen › <~> 12-Nov-02/4:41 AM Reply

i'd agree. it was merely typed on a whim as i bought time before the man in me took complete control for MNF.

[6] <~> › brazen 12-Nov-02/6:34 AM Reply

yes. this ailment claims so many of our men...

[n/a] brazen › <~> 13-Nov-02/8:45 AM Reply

true, but fear not gentle maiden, for i am still without possession of the following essential sterotypes; mullet, shotgun, wife for cooking, nachos, and the general lee. and, for the record, i DO NOT think my sister is hot, so no, i won't sleep with her...today. clarity is now achieved.