| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Nov-02/9:47 AM |
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keep writing your having a good day Monsieur Hatters
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| Re: Love by xdarkxangelx24 |
26-Nov-02/9:48 AM |
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I know what the problem is can I tell you?
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| Re: Check Yourself by INTRANSIT |
27-Nov-02/2:30 AM |
Wondered where you were, Greetings and Salutations !
I liked the vibe in this piece but take it or leave it heres a last line i think could end it.....
Fuck ! life can be so acrimonious.
anyway drag this 7 by the hair and drag her away.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Nov-02/2:50 AM |
Does it need to be continued?
Most of my poems are based on grief for personal reasons, and I think your poem is haunting, and touching without needing to add anymore, it left me reflective.
You score 9 for this = well done
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Nov-02/3:45 AM |
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| Re: Fire And Fuck by Bonehiss |
27-Nov-02/4:33 AM |
I had the benefit of a few pointers you gave me on the comments page of your other work 'Another Chance'.
Thanks to the background I understand this perfectly but to the uninformed it may be difficult to comment on as theirs no indication to what the addiction is, and a need to know more may be the problem.
However i think its a strong piece-well done, just work with it, make a few drafts-try again and resubmit after careful edit.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Nov-02/4:53 AM |
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Old Nicks got it right give us more!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Nov-02/4:59 AM |
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Melancholy ! take this 8 and slap it about
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| Re: ode to bacchus by daniella |
27-Nov-02/5:02 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
27-Nov-02/5:22 AM |
Quite evocative !
I wrote a death piece too see what u think (the last words she said)
heres a 7 well done ma'm
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| Re: Charlie by INTRANSIT |
27-Nov-02/5:41 AM |
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Life is a goldfish bowl and we are like Charlie, hope you didnt buy him off a pikey. i always like the way you express max out minimalist.
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| Re: Lloyd Street Interlude by jdsnyd |
27-Nov-02/6:08 AM |
NEVER chuck anything away, you could be chucking $$$$ away.
I think it ends how it was destined, And its got an identity now, mournful, sad, ironic, and to quote ' reflective so heres an 8
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| Re: memory by Goose |
27-Nov-02/6:20 AM |
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Yhis would be an excellent chorus, sell it to Alanis Morissette - Nice one Goose, 8 for a song 6 for a poem so heres a 7
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| Re: two poles are better than one by <~> |
27-Nov-02/9:25 AM |
heres an ending i think rocks !
CHANGE I SPOSITIVE, CHANGE IS GOOD,
NOW BACK THE FUCK OFF, YOUR BOILING MY BLOOD,
YOUR NAILING ME DOWN,
PUTTING THORNS IN MY CROWN,
WATCH ME BLEED SLOWLY,
YOUR LOVE IS DISEASE,
YOUR LOVE IS UNHOLY,
I CURSE THE DAY YOU'D EVER SHOWN ME,
LOVE..........? got possessed for a minute their
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| Re: Shut the fuck up and fix me a Scoobie snack. by Bachus |
28-Nov-02/1:37 AM |
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I was reading this doing the voices and realize I must be losing it ! like your style, just to be petty this aint no haiku but heres an 7 to get fat on with your scoobie snack.
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| Re: IM PISSEEDDDDDDDD by little_angel_maria |
28-Nov-02/1:40 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Nov-02/1:42 AM |
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Van Damme it ! heres 6<---------
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| Re: my soul i give by roxy |
28-Nov-02/1:44 AM |
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so/so it needs identifying as a poem or lyric, try it as a lyric and wrench the heart more, as it stands its mediocre, could be good though, play with it (the poem) that is
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| Re: late night activities by sooz |
28-Nov-02/1:46 AM |
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mmmm shenanigans in the sack, great for thursday mornings, scrap that - any morning
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Nov-02/1:48 AM |
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Pretty good pie, let me slice some for you, 7 ok?
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