| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Check Yourself (Free verse) by INTRANSIT "Shit happens", they say.
I still can't figure why
the judge went that way.
Coffee in hand, driving along
minding my business
then something went wrong.
Laid up, felt like a slob
shoulder out three months
replaced, lost my job.
With the wife and kids
the house went somewhere
I'm alone, so here I sits.
No, I'm no everyday jerk
I'm just broke and homeless,
I was on my way to work.
Up the ladder:
Held
Down the ladder:
route nine
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.375
Posted: November 26, 2002 7:10 PM PST; Last modified: December 11, 2002 6:50 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.638736 Overall Rank: 2139 Comments:
I really liked this one.
kicked me in the gut. because I'm feeling that way, I'll go with an eight.
Wondered where you were, Greetings and Salutations !
I liked the vibe in this piece but take it or leave it heres a last line i think could end it..... Fuck ! life can be so acrimonious. anyway drag this 7 by the hair and drag her away.
Welcome back.
nice
epson salt and elevating the arm with vicadin and taxi reruns should fix you right up.7
I love it!!!
On second thought, make mine nine. This one still does it for me.
don't be afraid to suck the laST sentence into the last stanza it fits fine. no osterization needed..
Why thank you sir! Usable info finally. I shall adjust at once.
punc change too. better?
still good.
283 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
go, boy!
okay, now the poem: the punctuation in the second stanza confuses me. do you need the comma after shoulder?
like the thought.