on you by diamondeyez
28 Nov 2002, 1:51 AM
Try coming from a different angle when writing of love, love is indefinable, everyone has different defintions, delve deep whats yours? let me taste from your creative cauldron
on some deleted poem
28 Nov 2002, 5:16 AM
Its Different from the usual *6*
on Pleas Dont.. by MysticalRaven88
28 Nov 2002, 8:20 AM
Kind of 'supermarket poetry' with the wrong price tag on it
on Friend by MysticalRaven88
28 Nov 2002, 8:38 AM
America gave us Baywatch !
It also gave us David Hasselhoff !
America gave us Star Trek
America gave us a fascinting insight on how to bury a cigar,
America gave us Cowboys
America gave us Hawaii five o and Magnum.
Thank God almighty real or not for giving us a big fuckoff ocean to seperate us,
hey guys who fucking cares theirs only 1 American I gotta problem with and he thinks Macedonias a fucking dance at a wedding.
rest, deep breath, Think of John Lennon, and congratulate each other on breaking the 'Guiness book of records' for the most comments on any poetry website ( hey if thats true melinda 50/50s fair huh?
It also gave us David Hasselhoff !
America gave us Star Trek
America gave us a fascinting insight on how to bury a cigar,
America gave us Cowboys
America gave us Hawaii five o and Magnum.
Thank God almighty real or not for giving us a big fuckoff ocean to seperate us,
hey guys who fucking cares theirs only 1 American I gotta problem with and he thinks Macedonias a fucking dance at a wedding.
rest, deep breath, Think of John Lennon, and congratulate each other on breaking the 'Guiness book of records' for the most comments on any poetry website ( hey if thats true melinda 50/50s fair huh?
on The Yule tide log by ==Doylum
28 Nov 2002, 8:43 AM
My mum wants to know what your doing tonight?
She then wants to papercut you to death with a copy of this, (if she can get up off her fat ass that is)
She then wants to papercut you to death with a copy of this, (if she can get up off her fat ass that is)
on some deleted poem
28 Nov 2002, 9:01 AM
As usual brilliant and its not even your best =====8======
on It's All 'Cause I Love You by Tigger8023
28 Nov 2002, 9:34 AM
cheesy but harmless i guess
on some deleted poem
28 Nov 2002, 9:36 AM
Biting!
on Clive Barker's penis pump by horus8
29 Nov 2002, 3:51 AM
horus, your a hellraiser, wonder if clive barkers got pins on his head (ouch), see the title might just work
on Clive Barker's penis pump by horus8
29 Nov 2002, 3:52 AM
how rude of me heres a slinky number for you *7*
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2002, 4:57 AM
heres a 0 you sick fuck, for desecrating the memory of my dad and for being so immature to vote it 1/10 because your own poetry is so shit.
on some deleted poem
29 Nov 2002, 5:25 AM
Imaginative ! I wish I could do Haiku *9*
on No One Cares by Quarton
29 Nov 2002, 8:20 AM
a fine paint indeed
on Hold Tight by casey
29 Nov 2002, 8:40 AM
A moving eulogy, stanza 4 needs more connection, thought the ending was very true to life, work with it; see what you can do -6-
on Sociology of Deviance by blackball
29 Nov 2002, 9:15 AM
Sod the dissection on the poem, i liked its vibe,and it gave me 20 seconds of entertainment so heres a 7 to jail.
on some deleted poem
2 Dec 2002, 12:43 AM
Not as structured and resolute but still a vivid and interesting read, this still harbours passsion and your work always has a lascivious vibe, this could be better if the message was repeated rather like a chorus between each stanza, the message being power.
on some deleted poem
2 Dec 2002, 4:42 AM
This would make the lady in the lake wet, very good, more of a short story than a poem. *8*
The text doewsnt justify the title enough, I had no empathy for the character. Try and tell a story less predictably, give us the fear, make it more tangible, as it stands it leaves me barren of any feeling or reaction, go for it keep on trying. (will vote on a re edit)