regarding some deleted poem...	2-Dec-02/8:46 AM
Your best yet
Re: battle by debased	2-Dec-02/8:50 AM
I'm intrigued by the expression in this piece, noones commented, i reckon their confused, HELP !
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Dec-02/9:07 AM
This was like I was overhearing a telephone conversation, its okay but needs firing up more, it needs to make a point otherwise its a hollow egg -5-
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Dec-02/9:11 AM
Loved the bouquet of flames, and the imagery in this. You should direct film scenes reading your stuffs a hybrid of Tim Burton meets David Lynch meets Chagall, to illustrate through vocab is a gift. -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Dec-02/9:23 AM
Sounds more like a bad italian red than bleach
Re: Iced by debased	2-Dec-02/9:26 AM
Sweet and mellifluent. But the turtles have to go (in england they mean something that rhymes with shit -oops i said it, but I quite liked this, nicely worded *7*
Re: Pretty Skin Deep by confuzdlilgirl	3-Dec-02/1:18 AM
When I was your age I wrote in a similar style to you. I put the emphasis on rhyme rather than substance or style, your writing will mature and you wont recognize how your styles changed till 1 day you'll look over what you've written and say unto yourself 'Did I write this'?, the best advice is dont chuck anything away you may use two choice lines in a better poem, Rebecca Calvetti gave you a constructive piece of criticism, and you can still keep your individuality yet take advice on board - some good lines/bad lines here, just keep trying -5-
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Dec-02/1:49 AM
Boobalicious!
Re: There is no Happy Hour in Bakersfield, Ca. by horus8	3-Dec-02/1:55 AM
I love the irony at the end of this it had me panting like Lassie being boned by beethoven, what i like even more though is the fact that the 'phantom' 1 voter has yet to serve up their cowardly custard and say to everyone 'I'm desperate to be loved but y'all hate my poems so I'm gonna hate yours, heres a deserved 9 to balance the books.
Re: There is no Happy Hour in Bakersfield, Ca. by horus8	3-Dec-02/1:56 AM
whats cleo's number horus?
Re: Embarrassed by Goose	3-Dec-02/2:00 AM
The goose has layed a golden egg ! Well done indeed BUT......... check line 6, its cower you want now cow, or it sounds like line dancing for cows.
Re: My One True Love by Hooman	3-Dec-02/2:02 AM
A bit too syrupy for me, but for your romantic self kiss a 6
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Dec-02/2:04 AM
A poets name, a poets poem what more can i add ===========9=====
Re: Silence by Cha no Onna	3-Dec-02/2:08 AM
Intelligent idea here which you've dealt with well, I liked the way you sold fragility here and the end stanza and last line hit the throat - nice one *8* (try and shorten the line about the wet earth it affects the readability)
Re: TRIBUTE TO A FRIEND by Nicholas Monson	3-Dec-02/4:37 AM
Haven't read an ode on here for ages, this aint bad really heres a 7
Re: Allegheny Winter Lament by jdsnyd	4-Dec-02/1:44 AM
Learned the art of description in this, its given me an idea for somthing =8= nice one jd
Re: Rich and the wall by INTRANSIT	4-Dec-02/1:45 AM
cute
Re: want of warmth by <~>	4-Dec-02/1:46 AM
I cant do haiku sob sob, you can, envy !
Re: The Black Cottage by w~* ATHENA *~w	4-Dec-02/2:45 AM
EXPLAINED LIKE A FAIRYTALE, QUITE BEAUTIFULLY, NEEDS A LITTLE MORE SUBSTANCE I THINK.
Re: she said by Bill Z Bub	4-Dec-02/2:46 AM
very original, concise and to point