DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Lloyd Street Interlude

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Nov 2002 · Edited 27 Nov 2002 · 7 comments

I saw you last night ensconced in conversation ...and melancholy wells in charred vapor pools mourning time and the poverty of words I amended riddled intervals and gathered portions of harboured denial evanescing lament sage glows on the alter smoke rises bathing purifying lost love's cadaver dressed in burial clothes anointed and reposed blameless words that destroyed failed to heal but time mends time mourned In a shattered mirror of disfigurement I can look at myself again

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7 comments

[3] <~> 24-Nov-02/3:59 PM Reply

do you cast a reflection?

[8] Caducus 26-Nov-02/8:51 AM Reply

This deserves more than a rush read so I'm taking this puppy and taking it for a walk inside my head.
I'm interested in this give me some leads???????

[n/a] jdsnyd › Caducus 26-Nov-02/10:33 AM Reply

I'm still playing around with this one, it's basically about running into an ex-lover, that you've had an extensive history with, and the feelings that it dredges up, and trying to get past them. Burning sage in some Native American cultures is part of a "purifying" ceremony, not sure it works here though.

[8] Caducus › jdsnyd 27-Nov-02/4:05 AM Reply

You replied - thanks

noW down to business ! As it stands it needs a better conclusion, when you say in the last line 'i can look at myself again' try and add a connection, such as this....
in a shattered mirror of disfigurement.
A shattered mirror is supposedly bad luck, and shattered metaphorically recognizes you as the one shattered, reflected by the cracks as a broken spirit, lots of different people of which you dont recognize any, as you changed from the pain your ex caused you.
It was just one idea out of many you could create.
I'm learning too, just dont want to see a good beginning have no end

[n/a] jdsnyd › Caducus 27-Nov-02/5:49 AM Reply

Thanks for the suggestions! I was ready to scrap this. I used your idea and added some more to the ending, maybe this works.

[8] Caducus 27-Nov-02/6:08 AM Reply

NEVER chuck anything away, you could be chucking $$$$ away.
I think it ends how it was destined, And its got an identity now, mournful, sad, ironic, and to quote ' reflective so heres an 8

[n/a] jdsnyd › Caducus 27-Nov-02/12:39 PM Reply

Thanks again Caducus, I think I can live with this