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Lloyd Street Interlude (Free verse) by jdsnyd

I saw you last night ensconced in conversation ...and melancholy wells in charred vapor pools mourning time and the poverty of words I amended riddled intervals and gathered portions of harboured denial evanescing lament sage glows on the alter smoke rises bathing purifying lost love's cadaver dressed in burial clothes anointed and reposed blameless words that destroyed failed to heal but time mends time mourned In a shattered mirror of disfigurement I can look at myself again

Caducus 27-Nov-02/4:05 AM
You replied - thanks

noW down to business ! As it stands it needs a better conclusion, when you say in the last line 'i can look at myself again' try and add a connection, such as this....
in a shattered mirror of disfigurement.
A shattered mirror is supposedly bad luck, and shattered metaphorically recognizes you as the one shattered, reflected by the cracks as a broken spirit, lots of different people of which you dont recognize any, as you changed from the pain your ex caused you.
It was just one idea out of many you could create.
I'm learning too, just dont want to see a good beginning have no end




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