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Maria's ways on how to deal with puberty! (Free verse) by little_angel_maria
BOYS AND GIRLS STEP RIGHT UP THIS IS NOT A POEM, BUT READ IF YOU CAN: You wake up one morning probably one of those important days and what do you see a good old spot on your nose it's big it's fat what to do? Oh what to do....you want to grab a knife and get rid of it once and for all, no no you musn't what you may do is grab that old clerasil and go crazy put a bit on then get that stuff from body shop that burns the shit out of the motherfucker. You've started your period and your scared, you know that if you tell your mum she'll make a fuss and tell the whole family so what to do? Grab one of those things and stick it on your panties or what about a tampon, but damn that looks painful, solution: Go to your mums cabinet and grab a sanitary towel and dont tell a soul. Your a guy and your outside walking you see this really hot girl that looks like jlo your good old friend stiffy pops up OH NO!!! A.)You run B. ) You turn around a pretend you haven't seen her C.)You let stiffy get on with getting excited, you see jlo look-alike coming over to you,your like what the fuck so what the hell let willy be free it's only natural. You see this really fit lad on the same shop you're in, trouble is your shooping with your mum for thongs and bra's you see him checking you out he smiles and comes over and then your mum shouts, ''Maria I've found some great pump up bra's for you.'' He laughs at you What to do.... solution: Punch him and leave him completely unconcious so he won't remenber a thing. You're in the cinema with your girlfriend and you really need to fart, you asked to be excused to go to the loo you stand up TOO LATE!!! you fart right in her face with noise and all what to do? RUN, RUN, RUN LIKE CRAZY. Your in a Craig David Concert, oh my he chooses you to go on stage with him, YES! when you go up and go beside him you see him staring at you weirdely and damn everyone at the concert is laughing at you then you notice you have your skirt in your knickers what to do solution: Give craig david a snog and leg it. Your with your girlfriend and are about to snog her then you smell her breath and damn it smells u feel like your gonna puke you remenber the mints you always carry thank you god you offer them to her without hurting her feelings she sees the mints and slaps you on the head what do i have bad breath??? She runs mm solution:SEARCH FOR ANOTHER GIRL YOU' VE BEEN DUMPED

Down the ladder: The Beggar

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 35
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.. 10
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.. 20
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.24
Weighted score: 4.2450867
Overall Rank: 13188
Posted: November 25, 2002 11:46 AM PST; Last modified: November 25, 2002 11:46 AM PST
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Comments:
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.42 | 25-Nov-02/1:04 PM | Reply
Oh the trials of being a kid. wait till real life shows up. Craig david blows bishops for bus fare and walks home.
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > razorgrin | 25-Nov-02/5:19 PM | Reply
hysterical. bravo. what a fine indescent observation.
[n/a] Goose @ 64.12.96.46 | 25-Nov-02/4:12 PM | Reply
I liked the last two poems of yours, but really....you can do better than this
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 25-Nov-02/5:19 PM | Reply
if you're left handed..why write with your right?.the problem with puberty? pre-sense of humor, and in all honesty teens go to the movies to finger bang third cousins and lower class man and then let their friends digit smell. in other words farting is not aloud stinky.
[10] Ranger @ 212.219.142.161 | 26-Nov-02/1:11 AM | Reply
Blade'll love this
[5] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 26-Nov-02/5:20 AM | Reply
Buy A Remington
[1] Tascobar @ 193.130.87.54 | 26-Nov-02/6:40 AM | Reply
Yet another atrocious posting - however this time you get a 1, as it is marginally better than your usual litter.
[n/a] little_angel_maria @ 213.122.138.247 > Tascobar | 26-Nov-02/8:44 AM | Reply
i only did this to fuck about it's not a poem and tascobar shut up oh and some farts could be loud u know lol
[1] Tascobar @ 193.130.87.54 > little_angel_maria | 27-Nov-02/9:52 AM | Reply
What a delightful little scamp you are. I give you the highest mark of any of your work so far, and you respond unkindly. I must confess, that sound you just heard was my heart breaking. Sob.
[5] brazen @ 65.237.116.252 > Tascobar | 24-Dec-02/10:50 PM | Reply
i thought i heard a fart...
[0] poetandknowit @ 67.40.59.151 | 10-Dec-02/2:35 AM | Reply
Yes, but what about those nasty hairs on your tits? What about those?
[0] deleted user @ 212.219.142.161 | 11-Dec-02/6:32 AM | Reply
Welcome to the armpits of poetry.
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.50 | 11-Dec-02/6:34 AM | Reply
I'd say more the infected rectal polyps.
[5] brazen @ 65.237.116.252 | 24-Dec-02/10:50 PM | Reply
at least you said it wasn't a poem...that leaves me standing right in the middle.
[8] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 8-Jan-03/2:30 PM | Reply
and ppl don't like this why? It's all so true....
[7] ChunkyHunkyMonkey @ 205.188.209.107 | 8-Jan-03/3:43 PM | Reply
its aight i guess im not much of a poet but its aight
[10] cleverdevice @ 212.219.142.161 | 10-Jan-03/3:32 AM | Reply
Yeah, and remember guys, on the first date, there is a fine line between persistance and stalking! And they don't like that sexy breathing down the phone either!
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