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The Epitaph

Member since 2002 · Posted 24 Nov 2002 · Edited 16 Jan 2006 · 6 comments

The Waves marry clandestine On the green banks of the overflowing Overwhelming Nature; I try to combine In the midst of the scrupulousness of tuberculosis that stains with color the pale handkerchief of my Existence Happiness with Blood; But O those flushed flowers are in full bud again And I find fishes unwinking once more No!I feel ,I feel the disturbing distance Between this vaulted grave and that Vaulted Sky.

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3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

6 comments

[1] OneFingerAnswer 24-Nov-02/9:55 PM Reply

With all those big words, I was going to ask "Did someone find a dictionary?" but then I noticed they aren't used right or even all spelled right. (Tuberculosis)

[n/a] vulcan › OneFingerAnswer 24-Nov-02/10:44 PM Reply

thanks.

[n/a] Caducus 26-Nov-02/9:38 AM Reply

Vulcan !
This could be really good and I see you've re edited it. But....its still flawed check line 8, change the opening of line 10,

take your time I f****g love beginning and end but the aforementioned's gotta get sorted.

[8] ecargo 26-Nov-02/10:02 AM Reply

Vulcan--I really like this, it's very neo-Romantic, and you've really captured a "Keatsian" flow and tone (as well as the direct nod with the reference to tuberculosis). There are some problems with the narrative structure--the second and third lines seem to stutter, for one thing--but your images are very strong, I think, and the phrasing, in places, is lovely. I particular like the "vaulted grave" conveying freshly mounded dirt and the comparison with the more expansive "Vaulted Sky."

[0] <{Baba^Yaga}> 29-Nov-02/2:12 AM Reply

i married clandestine too? pray for me ha ha ha! 0.

[6] Dovina 17-Jan-06/11:23 AM Reply

The first three lines don't quite make sense. As it progresses, it gets better.