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The Epitaph (Free verse) by vulcan

The Waves marry clandestine On the green banks of the overflowing Overwhelming Nature; I try to combine In the midst of the scrupulousness of tuberculosis that stains with color the pale handkerchief of my Existence Happiness with Blood; But O those flushed flowers are in full bud again And I find fishes unwinking once more No!I feel ,I feel the disturbing distance Between this vaulted grave and that Vaulted Sky.

ecargo 26-Nov-02/10:02 AM
Vulcan--I really like this, it's very neo-Romantic, and you've really captured a "Keatsian" flow and tone (as well as the direct nod with the reference to tuberculosis). There are some problems with the narrative structure--the second and third lines seem to stutter, for one thing--but your images are very strong, I think, and the phrasing, in places, is lovely. I particular like the "vaulted grave" conveying freshly mounded dirt and the comparison with the more expansive "Vaulted Sky."




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