on Flow by zodiac
10 Jan 2006, 3:09 PM
This is great. Small things: corn rows should probably be two words (otherwise it's the hairstyle, no?); is unmoored quite it?--are they drifting in this dream, undone? killer ending and a richness of imagery and sounds.
on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy
10 Jan 2006, 10:43 AM
Always a crowd pleaser.
on Comment on Avian 'flu by Stephen Robins
10 Jan 2006, 10:42 AM
Nice.
on Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones
10 Jan 2006, 10:40 AM
Wow--must be Olde Poemranker Players week here. Welcome back. I haven't been here in ages either (work? pique?), so know what you mean about starting again.
I like "iron January" (usually it is anyway)--the rest is very drafty (as in first pass) and with some tweaking will probably reveal it's form. Neither fallacious nor pathetic.
TAFKAHattersHare
I like "iron January" (usually it is anyway)--the rest is very drafty (as in first pass) and with some tweaking will probably reveal it's form. Neither fallacious nor pathetic.
TAFKAHattersHare
replying on The Right to Life by Retaliate
27 Oct 2003, 9:59 PM
Well, thanks, but I didn't coin it. I just appropriated it.
replying on The Right to Life by Retaliate
27 Oct 2003, 6:17 PM
Bewildered herd? I prefer "We the Sheeple."
on falling in with the wrong crowd. by richa
23 Oct 2003, 9:41 PM
Cogent, with a knockout ending.
replying on Slayer Sucks by peaceseeker
22 Oct 2003, 8:37 AM
Oh nooooo! Was I only supposed to post relevant entries? So ashamed! Will modify immediately and submit myself for correction.
replying on Slayer Sucks by peaceseeker
22 Oct 2003, 8:36 AM
Oh nooooo! Was I only supposed to include relevant entries? Will modify. So ashamed.
on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by Yatasuma
20 Oct 2003, 8:26 PM
Good sustained imagery and the repetition of phrases is effective. Overall, a well-done sonnet, worthy of a better title (says one who sucks at titles).
on When I say I'm a 14 yr old girl I mean 75 year old man by Shardik
20 Oct 2003, 8:23 PM
Indeede, a fine yarn in true 'rankerlecherous tradition.
on Lake Arrowhead by abecedarian
20 Oct 2003, 8:17 PM
You tell a good tale. Some minor snipping could make this even more immediate (small stuff--like in the first verse, "teams of chainsaws cope" makes "trying to deal" unnecessary; drop "unfortunately" (telling); stuff like that). I like the ending.
on Night On the Town by razorgrin
17 Oct 2003, 9:29 AM
I like the last tercet best. Nice image you build here.
Syllable counts aside, this is haiku, though you'll get the "this isn't 5-7-5" naysayers anyway. (Anyway, many poets write haikus that don't strictly conform to 5-7-5--there is much more to a haiku than the number of its syllables.)
Syllable counts aside, this is haiku, though you'll get the "this isn't 5-7-5" naysayers anyway. (Anyway, many poets write haikus that don't strictly conform to 5-7-5--there is much more to a haiku than the number of its syllables.)
replying on Kites, Gunpowder, and a Chair by Geschäftsreise
16 Oct 2003, 11:47 AM
I like this a lot. I didn't think it was patronizing or racist, and I honestly don't see anything in this to suggest that it is. I think people are assuming that you're belittling the current Chinese space adventure, but obviously you're not. Even though I didn't know the legend of Wan Hu, I picked up on the intimation that this was based on legend, from the language, the storytelling voice, the fact that you named names, etc. Easy enough to find the original story; here's one telling: http://cnnstudentnews.cnn.com/2003/TECH/
on Why You All Suck by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
7 Oct 2003, 9:25 AM
Would she type with her tongue? Her toes? Her nose?
on Orchidess by abecedarian
6 Oct 2003, 8:21 PM
They're such oddly malevolent flowers--this works quite well. I like "twist a whimsied spiral," but "down and around" is redundant, and I am unreasonably biased against the word "abound"--it just strikes me as one of those "committing acts of poetry" words. The "watch we" inversion strikes a little artificially--does it have some purpose other than the rhyme? I'm usually turned off by archaic tones in modern poems, but the orchid has an odd, other-timely formality that makes it work here (it helps that you keep it light and reasonably subtle). Light and shadow, whimsy and floral murder--what's not to like?
replying on water falls by Bill Z Bub
3 Oct 2003, 9:59 PM
I'll look for it! T'anks!
replying on Unloyal Poon (Free Puss) by A Spanish Devil by <{Baba^Yaga}>
3 Oct 2003, 9:49 PM
>>This is plagerism [sic] and I've already sent the entire url, copied pg etc in. Get a life! Even to make a parody you need consent.<<
No, you don't. <Putting on my pretty pedant hat,> Parody is a form of expression protected under the First Amendment here in the U.S.--it's considered fair use. The Supreme Court (aka the Felonious Five & colleagues) confirmed this in Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569 (1994), when (this is true) 2 Live Crew was sued by the music company that owned the rights to Roy Orbison's Pretty Woman, because 2 Live Crew did a parody of it in their own inimitable fashion. (I don't make this stuff up.) You can read the Court's Opinion here: http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/
Justice Kennedy (who wrote the concurring opinion) set out these relevant observations:
". . . certain general principles are now discernable to define the fair use exception for parody. . . . parody may qualify as fair use only if it draws upon the original composition to make humorous or ironic commentary about that same composition. . . . It is not enough that the parody use the original in a humorous fashion, however creative that humor may be. ***The parody must target the original***[my emphasis], and not just its general style, the genre of art to which it belongs, or society as a whole (although if it targets the original, it may target those features as well)."
http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/
Just sayin'.
No, you don't. <Putting on my pretty pedant hat,> Parody is a form of expression protected under the First Amendment here in the U.S.--it's considered fair use. The Supreme Court (aka the Felonious Five & colleagues) confirmed this in Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569 (1994), when (this is true) 2 Live Crew was sued by the music company that owned the rights to Roy Orbison's Pretty Woman, because 2 Live Crew did a parody of it in their own inimitable fashion. (I don't make this stuff up.) You can read the Court's Opinion here: http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/
Justice Kennedy (who wrote the concurring opinion) set out these relevant observations:
". . . certain general principles are now discernable to define the fair use exception for parody. . . . parody may qualify as fair use only if it draws upon the original composition to make humorous or ironic commentary about that same composition. . . . It is not enough that the parody use the original in a humorous fashion, however creative that humor may be. ***The parody must target the original***[my emphasis], and not just its general style, the genre of art to which it belongs, or society as a whole (although if it targets the original, it may target those features as well)."
http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/
Just sayin'.
replying on water falls by Bill Z Bub
3 Oct 2003, 1:12 PM
Oh yeah? You're just being disagreeable. Ha. Actually, I figured this for a "making love (awww) with the screen door dripping during a rainstorm" poem, in which case it was short, sweet, and simple, just as it should be.
I liked Molson long ago, especially the Bradors stuff, but then it started tasting really skunky. Pilsner Urquell is a fine brew that is not just for girls (so there). The Czechs make good pilsners. I worked in a package store (that's Connecticutese for liquor store) for a few years and become quite the beer connoisseur, for what it's worth, and came to the conclusions that most nationally distributed "microbrews" are overrated and most American lighter beers (e.g., pilsners, lagers) are crap, but the European counterparts generally have some heft and body. What do the good folk of Misery drink, then, if not "girly" pilsners? (Because surely they drink.) Coors? Bleh.
I liked Molson long ago, especially the Bradors stuff, but then it started tasting really skunky. Pilsner Urquell is a fine brew that is not just for girls (so there). The Czechs make good pilsners. I worked in a package store (that's Connecticutese for liquor store) for a few years and become quite the beer connoisseur, for what it's worth, and came to the conclusions that most nationally distributed "microbrews" are overrated and most American lighter beers (e.g., pilsners, lagers) are crap, but the European counterparts generally have some heft and body. What do the good folk of Misery drink, then, if not "girly" pilsners? (Because surely they drink.) Coors? Bleh.
on personality by irishfolksuicide
25 Sep 2003, 8:03 AM
Is "an 'ann summers'" a store? Distracting--why not just "here, where the windowfronts are blacked out in lingerie and leather"? This is good, though some of the diction is a little awkward. This has a nice poignancy.