Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (Sonnet) by Yatasuma
Her face drifted across the morning sky Like Jupiter taunting me in full bloom Be it like some small, insignificant lie Be it like some impending, inescapable doom - I gaze upon the sky every night of my days But no star burns as bright as the light in her eyes Embedded in the sun, and in all of its rays Like almighty Cephai, but with much stronger ties - I stare contently for eternity and three extra years Until my mind goes blank and my retinas burn Consider it a nightmare, or one of my ultimate fears Consider it a white dwarf, at the end of its turn - My stars have burnt out, in a magnificent cloud I'd gaze for another life, if the time was allowed

Up the ladder: Bankruptcy
Down the ladder: ONCE

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 30
.. 01
.. 10
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.6723537
Overall Rank: 2034
Posted: October 20, 2003 7:55 AM PDT; Last modified: October 20, 2003 7:55 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.252.72 | 20-Oct-03/11:15 AM | Reply
L-4 with much stronger ties. small bump.
[9] ecargo @ 64.252.65.208 | 20-Oct-03/8:26 PM | Reply
Good sustained imagery and the repetition of phrases is effective. Overall, a well-done sonnet, worthy of a better title (says one who sucks at titles).
[n/a] Yatasuma @ 24.158.3.187 > ecargo | 21-Oct-03/2:29 PM | Reply
i'm horrible with titles. i usually just attach some name to it and go on with my day.
214 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001