poemranker ::Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by Yatasuma

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Sonnet № 71263

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Member since 2003 · Posted 20 Oct 2003 · 3 comments

Her face drifted across the morning sky Like Jupiter taunting me in full bloom Be it like some small, insignificant lie Be it like some impending, inescapable doom - I gaze upon the sky every night of my days But no star burns as bright as the light in her eyes Embedded in the sun, and in all of its rays Like almighty Cephai, but with much stronger ties - I stare contently for eternity and three extra years Until my mind goes blank and my retinas burn Consider it a nightmare, or one of my ultimate fears Consider it a white dwarf, at the end of its turn - My stars have burnt out, in a magnificent cloud I'd gaze for another life, if the time was allowed

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mean 7.50 weighted 5.67 rank 2029 views 214 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

3 comments

[9] INTRANSIT 20-Oct-03/11:15 AM Reply
L-4 with much stronger ties. small bump.
[9] ecargo 20-Oct-03/8:26 PM Reply
Good sustained imagery and the repetition of phrases is effective. Overall, a well-done sonnet, worthy of a better title (says one who sucks at titles).
[n/a] Yatasuma › ecargo 21-Oct-03/2:29 PM Reply
i'm horrible with titles. i usually just attach some name to it and go on with my day.