Re: Plug my Phone In by jessicazee	11-Sep-07/6:47 AM
Possible changes : replace -chemistry- it's understood in the previous line. I think you can move -sacred- between ten and morning, and do no harm. the parking ticket is clunky BUT interesting. Odd is good. Can you soften it a little? The plug line bugs me. Too forward, I think. Overall, I really like what you've built.
Re: Harmony by MacFrantic	10-Sep-07/7:21 PM
I'd drop the first two lines. And both -is- in s-4. Love the sport of spring.
Re: My No-Good Graces by D. $ Fontera	10-Sep-07/7:17 PM
The end goes cheesy.
Re: Eye's Upon Tomorrow's Night by Enkidu	10-Sep-07/7:15 PM
S-2 is where it begins to roll.
Re: Confetti by Caducus	1-Sep-07/5:41 AM
Thanks for your patience, C. I'm glad I waited because originally i thought you'd overshot your target. After coming back I see " a little bit of history repeating". I like this and I think it's all there. My nits would be: unfurled- bugs me, but I see the rhyme. Could you merge lines 7 and 9? And -loom. again I see the rhyme but it just sounds awkward to me. Three generations?
Re: a comment on Confetti by Caducus	30-Aug-07/3:47 PM
Gimme a minute, we can work this.
Re: The Dark Poet by Dovina	27-Aug-07/6:50 AM
More about the "happy peril in a runaway colt"- please. I also think it's too straight/technical/cold.
Re: The Buiness Card by abecedarian	25-Aug-07/6:53 AM
Duh, whassa Tamp tie ?
Re: a comment on Church Propagation by Dovina	25-Aug-07/6:50 AM
" These degredations lead to arguments, which lead to stricter organization." The church chokes itself. I think this is the root of your poem. This format is too technical for me. Chase it if you will.
Re: a comment on Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	25-Aug-07/6:39 AM
That's just it. It becomes statistic and loses some of the personal feeling, for me. If it is accurate to her situation, nuttin I can do about that.
Re: Some things marinate, others poison by MacFrantic	24-Aug-07/7:02 AM
chaos is much too good for me? ok then.
Re: The Raw Vegan Potluck by peaceseeker	24-Aug-07/7:00 AM
I get to use my favorite suggestion. Put it in the blender and hit frappe. It comes across a little too list-like. Blend the people with the foods a bit. There's much to work with here. Please revise.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	24-Aug-07/6:39 AM
I second Paul S.
Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	24-Aug-07/6:35 AM
YES ! Two small nits. J-flits, and Old spice... oh wait no, well, shoot. The old spice itself is cliche but it steers me away from boyfriend/girlfriend and into father/daughter, so.... Anyway, it's ace. if you revise it any, please post. I'd like to add it to my faves.
Re: Crotchety Old Geezer by Dovina	14-Aug-07/8:03 AM
That he does. That he does.
Re: a comment on In the maybe by INTRANSIT	8-Jul-07/8:58 AM
Definitely worth printing off and taking with me on the road. I know it's fixable. Thank you sincerely, Mr Panic.
Re: a comment on In the maybe by INTRANSIT	7-Jul-07/8:05 PM
8? *pout*
Re: scene by Dental Panic	7-Jul-07/7:33 PM
I didn't.
Re: a comment on Miles Apart, You Say by Dovina	7-Jul-07/7:32 PM
wombat.
Re: Body Worlds by Dental Panic	7-Jul-07/11:45 AM
Arier with cheer? You're so wierd !