on "Monco" (In progress) by Alizarin_Crimson
16 May 2005, 9:13 AM
The wavering oboe went Star-warsy on me for some reason. Cardboeard ghosttown/saturated survival rock.
on On the Bank of Lake Michigan by jessicazee
16 May 2005, 8:58 AM
But what I really whant to know is: are you Hagarian or Rothian?
on Old Lady and The Sea by Joe-joe
16 May 2005, 8:52 AM
Are you trying for a sonnet? Look at Beam Reach and compare it to The Catamaran. Both are mine, the catamaran being the first draft. You can hear the diff easily. " A comrade of the yawning deep " is excellent. 8. Hit it again.
replying on Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT
16 May 2005, 5:45 AM
Hint: Jeans/Genes
on dit da haiku by nentwined
15 May 2005, 7:09 PM
S.O.S.
on My Best Friend, 1985 by jessicazee
11 May 2005, 5:20 PM
I'm sure it reads fast for a reason but it also reads like a list. Take some 120 grit to it.
replying on Dying breed by INTRANSIT
11 May 2005, 5:10 PM
Shorter lines and more meat? You sound like my wife.
on Man Enough For Me by mystic enoch
11 May 2005, 5:04 PM
It's me! I'm here!
Nope. My shoe's untied.
I guess I'm
disqualified.
Nope. My shoe's untied.
I guess I'm
disqualified.
replying on Dying breed by INTRANSIT
9 May 2005, 9:56 AM
DOH! Too bad it's not iambic. I tried to spondee while playing twister in a truckstop parking lot with some midgets. I kicked myself in the eye. Here are my problems with it: cross bridges of thought- is good but OF COURSE they're un-dewed. Bridges keep you out of the water, duh. And I think it's a bit of a leap to the closer, a chronic problem I seem to have. I appreciate your time though. Thanks!
on Old Friend by Dovina
8 May 2005, 8:58 AM
Interesting. Starting out with a playful rhyme and then it gets all serious. I don't think it does the pet justice, though. do it again.
on PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w
5 May 2005, 2:41 PM
" Stop reading Calvin Trillin"
poetandknowit
poetandknowit
on Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
The annual Oshkosh fly-in? Just wondering.
replying on The Instructor by Alizarin_Crimson
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
I was thinking that too, but I like it better than -dash. It feels like a wider stroke.
replying on Prickly Pear by Dovina
22 Apr 2005, 2:02 PM
she's fondling her prickly pears? wha?
on standing outside the door by nentwined
22 Apr 2005, 1:51 PM
Deca- dence.
on Prickly Pear by Dovina
22 Apr 2005, 1:41 PM
I thought about p/p when I wrote my villanelle. I .just couldn't get it to work.
Is this zodiac? Or our very own Browne recluse?
Is this zodiac? Or our very own Browne recluse?
replying on Baggage (3rd ending) by INTRANSIT
22 Apr 2005, 6:31 AM
Thanks Christof. Poetry is hard. I like it when I get a little closer to the "target". No problems with Edwards crits? I always consider all comments. Sometimes to my own detriment. lol.
Got a villanelle coming later today. Glad to see you again!
Got a villanelle coming later today. Glad to see you again!