poemranker ::Dying breed by INTRANSIT

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Sonnet № 124453

Dying breed

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 3 May 2005 · Edited 31 Aug 2005 · 11 comments

These rolling cowboys, map faced and gray down from the mountains of dawn they will snake stealing through night, burning through day ride ragged canyons against burbling brakes. Broken eared gargoyles that heavily brood the thatches and thaws of transporting goods cross bridges of thought that leave them undewed while weaving through leaves and unmarked woods. "Unskilled labor" the sign of the day signals undying thirst for rapport. A public not privy to docking ballets; drivers are losing a country's support. Marking their status with dutious time devotion to lifestyle; their only crime.

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mean 7.50 weighted 5.30 rank 3709 views 297 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

A favorite of mystic enoch.

11 comments

[10] zodiac 8-May-05/10:52 PM Reply
Really great.

I think you mean "Broken", not "Boken", but I could be wrong. Also, "country's" instead of "countrys".

Have you read E. Annie Proulx's short story "Brokeback Mountain"? It offers an interesting theory as to why cowboys are a dying breed.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › zodiac 9-May-05/9:56 AM Reply
DOH! Too bad it's not iambic. I tried to spondee while playing twister in a truckstop parking lot with some midgets. I kicked myself in the eye. Here are my problems with it: cross bridges of thought- is good but OF COURSE they're un-dewed. Bridges keep you out of the water, duh. And I think it's a bit of a leap to the closer, a chronic problem I seem to have. I appreciate your time though. Thanks!
[10] mystic enoch 9-May-05/11:32 AM Reply
that was very interesting. it made me really think about what I was reading. I had to read it a second time. It is on my favorites list.
[8] jessicazee 10-May-05/12:55 AM Reply
I want shorter lines, a hyphenated "broken eared," love "docking ballets." Didn't quite get the jist, unfortunately. Give me some more meat. 8.4
[n/a] INTRANSIT › jessicazee 11-May-05/5:10 PM Reply
Shorter lines and more meat? You sound like my wife.
[10] zodiac › INTRANSIT 13-May-05/4:38 AM Reply
You make your wife wait in line? For what?
[10] zodiac › zodiac 13-May-05/4:38 AM Reply
Oh. For meat. Guess I should have read the rest of the sentence.
[9] Dovina 10-May-05/12:06 PM Reply
Either everyone is misinterpreting this or I am. We have here, as I see it, a political statement in favor of truck drivers with some poetry added, and pretty good poetry to boot. I think you could lose the last two lines.
[10] ALChemy 31-Aug-05/9:32 AM Reply
I was going to say this is one of the best things I've read in a while but then I noticed you misspelled "bridges" and now it's all just rubbish.
So now I have no choice but to reduce your score to a measly -10-
[n/a] INTRANSIT › ALChemy 31-Aug-05/10:00 AM Reply
so I clean up -then- (them) and -waving-(weaving) and then its bridgs. GAH!
[10] Bethy 31-Aug-05/10:16 AM Reply
Excellent! a standing ovation! *10* :) Bethy