| Re: Her name was Marjorie Harper by Caducus |
22-Oct-07/10:27 PM |
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| Re: Henry's breeches by Stephen Robins |
22-Oct-07/10:21 PM |
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It's horrible - the indignity of being an old man... hurts huh?
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| Re: One Perfect Moment by sonawrote |
22-Oct-07/10:19 PM |
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if this is a true account of a time in your life - tell of something that has a personal touch, for readers to connect to the melancholy of it all. Otherwise it's just nothing, a blurb on the back of a romance novel...
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| Re: Parasite by Christof |
22-Oct-07/10:13 PM |
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having recently been amazed by fog in a tropical environment I connect with this...nice!
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| Re: Never Let Go by x0lovelylarnx0 |
22-Oct-07/10:07 PM |
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I'm not sure I understand this one...is it a dream? I am confused a little with the ending, is the protection offered only temporary?
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| Re: Wayne, do you? by T. Jonathron Remp |
22-Oct-07/10:04 PM |
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I gave in and went to the site...nice touch... :)
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| Re: Back to Orange and Black by winniss |
22-Oct-07/10:00 PM |
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I think tingle instead of tingling would bring this straight into the momment. I like this.
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| Re: While waiting for someone to check in my cars by INTRANSIT |
22-Oct-07/9:56 PM |
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beautiful - image is so clear I wish I'd seen it. I would love to see a descriptive word in there for the daughter snug/warm in denim jacket, to follow on the caring of the mother as she carries her son..know what I mean?
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| Re: My Courtney by secretlyvulnerable |
22-Oct-07/9:50 PM |
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you started off so well with two verses of 3 lines, and ended with two lines of thankfullness and love. The third verse could be cut to 3 lines also keeping the original rhyme scheme...just a suggestion, you can turn a nice phrase
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| Re: Unmistakably Mistaken by secretlyvulnerable |
22-Oct-07/9:46 PM |
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your last verse is creative and to the point - verse one and two are overworked a little...no need to mention tears too much, we get the crying from the second line...the last verse saves this piece, I really like it.
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| Re: a comment on back o' the fridge by nypoet22 |
19-Oct-07/5:48 AM |
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my daughter thinks your just being pretentious, and why don't you just admit it's cheese?
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| Re: a comment on Alice to Slumber by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:43 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Alice to Slumber by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:42 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Talk by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:37 AM |
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it's lacking playfullness...thanks for reading and taking time to comment... :)
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| Re: a comment on The Kissing by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:33 AM |
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yeah - agreed...the time it takes to read is critical to the rhythm
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| Re: a comment on View From The Gutter by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:30 AM |
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One of the first writes I have done - wordy - yes, for what I do now...but I can't change it...call me sentimental... :)
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| Re: a comment on Empty by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:26 AM |
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I'm not really sure - it arrived in a picture, like a snapshot and I wrote it...I find it just sad
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| Re: a comment on Llamas by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:22 AM |
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thankyou for taking part again... :)
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| Re: a comment on Llamas by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:21 AM |
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I should have studied more - at times my own ignorance astounds me
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| Re: a comment on The Finding by Skamper |
19-Oct-07/5:18 AM |
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bring a bucket and spade - if we can't find the hidden depths, making sand-castles is just as fun
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