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Her name was Marjorie Harper (Free verse) by Caducus I died a blur in half moon glasses
her eyes reflected the blitz.
I never told the nurse till nine,
holding her in television blue
it was all she remembered.
A nurse turned her bed
fresh linen for fresh dead
and the sky of Marigolds
were plucked from a china vase
headfirst into polythene.
Salaried pats from a light hand,
carbon dioxide aplologies,
the night nurse offered a glacier mint
the chaplain offered the Lord
I took none, just the vase
and her velour dressing gown
with her scent of April
Up the ladder:
One dot.And the rest is our lives
Down the ladder:
There's Always Sunday
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.857143
Posted: October 19, 2007 8:54 AM PDT; Last modified: October 19, 2007 8:54 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.768404 Overall Rank: 1770 Comments:
Bloody hell. you know you've done ok when rockmage gives a 10. thanks (not for the score but for the :)
awed
Polythene and aplologies. But you friggen nailed it!
As a new member to this site this is the best I have read so far. It appears you have a creative flair but please spell check your "aplologies". Also, if this rockmage person gave it a 10 does he not see a couple of technical issues with this poem, since he sets himself up as a critic of some knowledge on poesie? That is if he has REAL knowledge. But I have read a few of his Senryus. Although a few are interesting, I do not see any prodigious SKILL.
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and were you god
ten would be the score