Re: a comment on Flat by Skamper	6-Nov-07/7:45 PM
Hmmm, maybe...I'm crap when it comes to titles
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-07/7:37 PM
This rolls around a bit, lazily working ideas into place. Great descriptions, vaguely horrific ending. I thought the start was a little slow, but after reading a couple of times, it's perfect.
Re: a comment on Some poems by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-07/7:16 PM
Yep, looks great, sounds great...thanks for listening. :)
Re: Behind closed offices by lukehanney	6-Nov-07/7:11 PM
The rhymes a bit off...needs sorting, Ideas very easy to identify with though. I like the lightheartedness of it.
Re: a comment on Flat by Skamper	4-Nov-07/4:13 PM
I never thought of the references to burning/fire...hmmm, wonder what I meant with that... The cardboard describes how I felt at the time, a cut-out of myself, there but not taking part.
Re: a comment on Some poems by INTRANSIT	4-Nov-07/4:03 PM
I found reading without "then" at the beginning of the 10th line rolls easier. I would also give "very few" it's own line. Rhythm seems fine to me although my own brain wants to add 'on' between 'right' and 'out', end the line there and put 'and through' on it's own line, but I'm sure I'll get over that. Rhythm is such a personal thing, am curious now to see what others think...
Re: a comment on Dulacca - for a day by Skamper	4-Nov-07/3:47 PM
NP..it's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again. :) Do I write like a male?
Re: a bit of theory by pete	3-Nov-07/10:28 PM
I like it - although I'm not sure if I should.
Re: Some poems by INTRANSIT	3-Nov-07/10:24 PM
perfect last line - love it when reading one that hits ya just like that.
Re: a comment on Voice of the World by Dovina	3-Nov-07/10:18 PM
I guess I was thinking along the lines of the third world teaching the first world something - rather than the other way around. I like the concept of being humbled rather than worshipped... You will get it together - I can feel it from here :)
Re: a comment on Dulacca - for a day by Skamper	3-Nov-07/10:13 PM
half a slab and a six-pack...not very inventive, but hey, we are kinda lazy... p.s He is a She
Re: Voice of the World by Dovina	2-Nov-07/3:01 PM
I feel you working up to something in the first verse and then kinda fade away in the second, it needs some strength to show conviction. I like the idea of learning from an unexpected source.
Re: a comment on Dulacca - for a day by Skamper	2-Nov-07/2:48 PM
halfway between Roma and Mitchell in the south of Queensland, Australia. Dulacca - population 60, pub 1, free camping out the back of the pub (the reason we stayed there), free beer, a trap for unsuspecting tourists, purchase of a slab (24 cans) and you get 6 free...none of us drink beer so we enjoyed the free camping, with no strings and played pool all night. :)
Re: Four Skins by xyz	27-Oct-07/4:06 AM
last line - pretty good title spelling reminds me of a band
Re: Dark Matter by Musicman	27-Oct-07/3:58 AM
I have a problem with the line breaks because I want this to fit a rhythm my tongue can get around without spitting all over my monitor. And with saying that I feel like I've justified the whole concept with which you write...or did I miss something?
Re: a comment on On Any Given Day... by Skamper	27-Oct-07/3:48 AM
thanks :) The dashes are very habit forming and I reach for the key without realising - *sigh*
Re: INTELLIGENCIA by INTRANSIT	26-Oct-07/4:03 PM
If I had enough sense I'd be terrified by this
Re: a comment on On Any Given Day... by Skamper	26-Oct-07/3:47 PM
I have read some Bukowski - my favourite, The Great Slob ah!..rockmage - enigma or arsehole?
Re: a comment on On Any Given Day... by Skamper	26-Oct-07/3:38 PM
thankyou I feel warmed already :)
Re: Lonely Song(SOAD's Highway Song) by alvinb	22-Oct-07/10:30 PM
Remembering her makes me thrown...and nigh and ligh Not sure these should mean?