Poemranker [Poem: Flat] [by Skamper] Thu Nov 21 06:10:14 PST 2024

every hollow air filled dip on my crinkled cardboard form a never ending pattern tiny waves shallow and bland unrelieved by even the faintest sigh tastes of beige the fight - I picked with you didnât have the same fire my heart refused to beat any faster and my mouth â well it lacked bite so I just drove too far with the tank on empty

[8] INTRANSIT @ 69.23.157.197 | 4-Nov-07/5:38 AM | Reply

Part of me likes the incongruity. The other part doesn't, 'natch. Hmmm. I know cardboard burns hella fast, and burning gasoline and fire in the second--

The more I look at it the more I like it as is. Is the cardboard only there to describe you ?

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.63.87 > INTRANSIT | 4-Nov-07/4:13 PM | Reply

I never thought of the references to burning/fire...hmmm, wonder what I meant with that...

The cardboard describes how I felt at the time, a cut-out of myself, there but not taking part.

[8] INTRANSIT @ 69.23.157.197 > Skamper | 6-Nov-07/5:36 AM | Reply

"A cardboard cutout of myself" Might make a better title.

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.193.164 > INTRANSIT | 6-Nov-07/7:45 PM | Reply

Hmmm, maybe...I'm crap when it comes to titles

[9] Melanie Jade @ 216.61.132.105 | 4-Nov-07/5:42 PM | Reply

Recycle

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.230.105 > Melanie Jade | 6-Nov-07/7:45 PM | Reply

maybe it's time I did