Re: Liar by Roisin	19-Nov-07/7:26 PM
In agreement with intransit - bitch needs it's own line who gets the lead - I would like to think it's a suicide, a point made, a final thrust of guilt. Nice work, shady and direct.
Re: Tingling by INTRANSIT	19-Nov-07/7:20 PM
melon is a bit vague - considering you follow with periwinkle third stanza line two - 'so' not clear on it's intent. Is it your joints that are aching so - or is it because they are aching you succumb? If the latter maybe a comma after ache? This poem has a pureness about it, I love it.
Re: a comment on It's about truckin' by INTRANSIT	19-Nov-07/7:03 PM
No dissapointment - each of us have our own reasons for doing what we do. Look forward to reading the older one too.. :)
Re: a comment on The Taking by Skamper	19-Nov-07/6:57 PM
thanks :) sometimes less is better
Re: a comment on The Taking by Skamper	19-Nov-07/6:56 PM
I hear what your saying - but inverting lines 1 and 2 would put a different emphasis on the progress of seduction. I think maybe a longer pause between line 2 and then, followed by the long pause again... don't you think -then- speaks of what lays between the quieter 'no' to the ultimate compliance? I feel leaving -then- out hurries it along
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	19-Nov-07/6:47 PM
thanks :)
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	19-Nov-07/6:46 PM
I read an interview with him - don't know how long ago he gave it but he seemed to be more about writing to be understood (with flair of course) by his readers. He took a scathing look at those who write obscurely...but then admitted to doing that himself at one point. I like his style - but I could get bored easily with it. Do you call yourself poet?
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	19-Nov-07/6:42 PM
yep...the first two lines just about sum it all up...love it!
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	16-Nov-07/2:18 AM
I noticed when I googled Billy Collins that he's written a book on the trouble with poetry...I have to get my hands on that. I am gonna look to see if I can find the poem you're referring to, exciting to find another like mind. :)
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	16-Nov-07/2:14 AM
BTW I think your exactly the person who should be writing poetry, I think Billy would back me all the way on that!
Re: a comment on AKA Poets by Skamper	16-Nov-07/2:13 AM
I googled Billy Collins and read some of his stuff. At first I thought he was dull, but after a few reads I see the appeal. Only recently did I discover that the title 'Poet Laureate' isn't just a self proclamation. Thanks for adding to my education once again. :)
Re: It's about truckin' by INTRANSIT	16-Nov-07/2:07 AM
Since I've been travelling and no doubt annoying the hell out of truckies (going 80k's when the limits 110) I've developed a need to know why this kind of life is so appealing. I say life, instead of work beacuse I feel in another time I think I could have lived this way. Could you write about this aspect, or have you done so? I like this poem's descriptive, insightful picture of what the life entails. But, would love to read about why.
Re: INTELLIGENCIA by INTRANSIT	16-Nov-07/1:41 AM
there's always a line that needs something - I see what you mean about line 8, it's a little clumsy. Yet, the line works so well with a pause after own.
Re: a comment on Stroke It! by Skamper	15-Nov-07/1:48 PM
thanks :)
Re: a comment on Stroke It! by Skamper	8-Nov-07/2:38 AM
:) thanx
Re: a comment on Stroke It! by Skamper	8-Nov-07/2:35 AM
LOL...ok..changed could to shall - although not quite what I had in mind either, but it's better, no need to give those bards a choice huh? I want them compelled to sing, although that's not the right word for this either...hmmm Words like 'want' and 'everything' give this exactly what I needed, an ego boost...a demand...a spoiltness...an impulse to let loose an ambition...a little dream
Re: a comment on Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-07/8:33 PM
still perfect - Truck-stops the world over must contain the same sounds, sights and residents.
Re: a comment on back o' the fridge by nypoet22	6-Nov-07/8:03 PM
she rolled her eyes in her 'vegetarian way', and said "typical"
Re: A No One With A Face by calmyourself	6-Nov-07/7:56 PM
A bit rough here and there...but not too bad
Re: a comment on Flat by Skamper	6-Nov-07/7:45 PM
maybe it's time I did