Poemranker [Poem: Stroke It!] [by Skamper] Thu Nov 21 05:38:57 PST 2024

[7] INTRANSIT @ 69.23.157.197 | 7-Nov-07/6:53 AM | Reply

The word -could- gives the bards the option of doing so. "We could sing this. Nah, lets play Jarts."

There may be an even better/more active/forceful word than -will or -want to. (not the first line)

Give me more details about s-1-3. (Everything) is too broad a specrum, I think. Try to narrow it.

Like I said to dovina, It'sa jumping off point.

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.131.199 > INTRANSIT | 8-Nov-07/2:35 AM | Reply

LOL...ok..changed could to shall - although not quite what I had in mind either, but it's better, no need to give those bards a choice huh? I want them compelled to sing, although that's not the right word for this either...hmmm

Words like 'want' and 'everything' give this exactly what I needed, an ego boost...a demand...a spoiltness...an impulse to let loose an ambition...a little dream

[8] nypoet22 @ 65.10.242.138 | 7-Nov-07/5:00 PM | Reply

extra points for shameless name-dropping ;)

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.221.193 > nypoet22 | 8-Nov-07/2:38 AM | Reply

:) thanx

[9] deleted user @ 63.127.193.79 | 11-Nov-07/2:33 AM | Reply

I like EVERYTHING about this poem from your use of enjambment to the title--the title rocks!

[n/a] Skamper @ 58.171.213.42 > deleted user | 15-Nov-07/1:48 PM | Reply

thanks :)