poemranker ::INTELLIGENCIA by INTRANSIT

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Free verse № 154219

INTELLIGENCIA

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Oct 2007 · Edited 11 Nov 2007 · 14 comments

Intelligence is the new ethnic cleansing the downer of four week old horses It is the Sumo, and the Mafioso and the clear cutter of forests. It is the bully making her rounds a critic at the opening and an unrestrained fire burning through cities to be it's own it's only desire. It is the microscope micrometer barometric pressure indicator pyrometer sandblast against the fender and the D.N.A. bender. It's the largest of silverback apes it's canines lodged in the back of the brain and a nuclear frost bearing down on the vineyard grapes.

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mean 8.00 weighted 5.81 rank 1685 views 239 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

14 comments

[10] x0lovelylarnx0 23-Oct-07/1:30 PM Reply
To Rockmage: You have serious problems! It's not right to just go around and give everyone low scores!
[n/a] INTRANSIT › x0lovelylarnx0 23-Oct-07/1:34 PM Reply
Save your energy, Leroy. Put it into your own work. It's just plain healthier that way.
[10] x0lovelylarnx0 › INTRANSIT 23-Oct-07/6:57 PM Reply
Haha I just don't think it is fair that a good poem gets a 0 or a 1 just because some jerk feels like it!
[7] Musicman 24-Oct-07/2:03 AM Reply
Strong imagery and intensity. I would ditch the punctuation allowing the natural flow to place the periods and commas. It is a distractor to me. Enjoyable read.
[n/a] Dental Panic 24-Oct-07/4:41 PM Reply
I totally agree.
[n/a] Dental Panic › Dental Panic 25-Oct-07/10:50 AM Reply
- with the poem, I mean.
[9] Ranger 25-Oct-07/2:11 AM Reply
No time for a proper commente just yet but I will say this has fired me up to write something today. Cheers!
[10] Skamper 26-Oct-07/4:03 PM Reply
If I had enough sense I'd be terrified by this
[n/a] INTRANSIT 11-Nov-07/8:06 AM Reply
So I dropped the Ibex and some of the punctuation, cut some excess words so I hope it reads better, at least.

But what I need to persue is that opening line.
[n/a] INTRANSIT 11-Nov-07/8:11 AM Reply
And line 8 needs more help. Bleh.
[n/a] INTRANSIT 12-Nov-07/5:14 PM Reply
I can't see your comment, Mage. The counter is off.
[8] sliver 12-Nov-07/6:09 PM Reply
As we think ourselves into a mellenial grave eh?
[10] Skamper 16-Nov-07/1:41 AM Reply
there's always a line that needs something - I see what you mean about line 8, it's a little clumsy. Yet, the line works so well with a pause after own.
[9] Ranger 8-Dec-07/4:45 AM Reply
The last 6 lines are the best I've seen on poemeranker in months. The grammar Gestapo are going to be calling round about a couple of those apostrophes though.