| Re: rear end of the storm by malpaso |
11-Jun-07/4:11 PM |
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| Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina |
11-Jun-07/3:57 PM |
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I like this especially the last stanza, it has quite a lazy feel to it, and I found it quite a matter-of-fact read. Like I guess they take whatever comes along as part of their life.
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| Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins |
7-Jun-07/4:17 PM |
Blackpool? Great little tale - true story?
Surely there has been a ban on those suits of shell for years!
I feel this wibbles and wobbles in places, could be tighter.
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| Re: Stripes by JMakStak |
7-Jun-07/4:13 PM |
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The language is brilliant.
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| Re: Cephalonia by Caducus |
7-Jun-07/4:10 PM |
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For some hollywood reason I was wanting her to have been the one who killed him, for moaning about her bread. Is that what was meant or is the first stanza a little misleading? Or am I just being twisted?
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| Re: No-Strings by sca |
7-Jun-07/4:02 PM |
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Some great lines - not sure about the third stanza, doesn't really speak of the rebel, just some things that sound kinda rebellious.
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| Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee |
7-Jun-07/3:44 PM |
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Pretty funny - darkly so, but a fair and just thankyou to your rescuer.
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| Re: a comment on The Equalizer by Skamper |
7-Jun-07/3:35 PM |
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don't really know much about the quandries philosophers get themselves into, but your comment about god indicates you missed the point.
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| Re: a comment on Never Still by Skamper |
5-Jun-07/2:43 PM |
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thanks you've been a huge help..I've changed a couple of things on my own copy
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| Re: a comment on Never Still by Skamper |
5-Jun-07/2:37 PM |
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thanks your right its meant to be bear
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| Re: a comment on Never Still by Skamper |
4-Jun-07/6:02 PM |
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that would be stumbling, and not finding regrowth appearing in a most unfortunate moment!
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| Re: a comment on Never Still by Skamper |
4-Jun-07/5:58 PM |
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I hate stubling awkwardly over other's rhymes...will see what I can work out...thanx
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| Re: a comment on Love - In the Noughties by Skamper |
4-Jun-07/5:24 PM |
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what can I say...was bored/lazy. In a strange way those tired ol' phrases kinda work...in the context of the write, yea? Or am I just reaching here?
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| Re: Alive at 95 by nypoet22 |
31-May-07/9:34 AM |
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first two stanzas set me up with a rhythm, and the last three tripped me up a little...
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| Re: The Story of Wolf and Moon by Blackshadow |
31-May-07/9:27 AM |
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Love the story - but the spacing distracted me a little
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| Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta |
31-May-07/9:22 AM |
I do love to think in colour - but I can't get the image out of my head of seagulls with nice white teeth!
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| Re: Delicious Ann and the Magic Ham (Prose...I'm ashamed) by D. $ Fontera |
31-May-07/9:12 AM |
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Don't know why I like this...
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| Re: Rolling Bells by MacFrantic |
31-May-07/9:07 AM |
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molesting - dragging - torturing, and all things associated with the living...so visual here. Still not entirely sure this has clicked in its meaning with me, but I get lost in the movement within.
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| Re: Close your eyes but keep your mind wide open by darylchew |
29-May-07/6:07 AM |
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(I'm sorry, that seat is taken.) great line - work back from there and shorten your sentences - pull it all in tight and the image will just pop...
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| Re: surgical spite by calliope |
29-May-07/5:55 AM |
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I get the feel of emo - but the cuz in the last line doesn't fit with the rest of the write. You could lose it and keep with the darkness, it lightens the write too much - almost childish.
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