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Love - In the Noughties (Free verse) by Skamper
who gave my mind a stick for now it’s poking holes in imaginations soul who whispered wearily into my bleeding heart that started up a game where fingers went insane tripped up my dreamy feet I fall - hard, upon my back fronting up to darkness - my eyes reveal the sharpness my tongue whipped into shape my hair it now reminds me of the strings I used to bind me and thought it was a laugh… my teeth are talking back No - Seriously it’s true I’m so fucking bored without you -

Down the ladder: The Grip

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8861
Posted: May 31, 2007 9:00 AM PDT; Last modified: May 31, 2007 9:00 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 | 4-Jun-07/3:07 AM | Reply
'bleeding heart' and 'tongue whipped' could be changed. Good last two lines.
[n/a] Skamper @ 202.6.129.156 > Ranger | 4-Jun-07/5:24 PM | Reply
what can I say...was bored/lazy. In a strange way those tired ol' phrases kinda work...in the context of the write, yea? Or am I just reaching here?
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