| Re: a comment on Towards the Sun or The keeper of the bay they call a pond by somemorepoetry |
13-Dec-05/2:32 AM |
But it sounds like they're are going through the whole alphabet which is a little bit more surreal then the rest of the poem.
It would be a trip to have them start out in a V and then morph through the whole alphabet.
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| Re: a comment on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
12-Dec-05/9:07 PM |
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Maybe it was a woman that said it. The quoted person wasn't named.
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| Re: Oh Merry Fay (part 1) by ALChemy |
12-Dec-05/9:01 PM |
Yeah I kinda just rushed through with the punctuation.
Thank ya Lil Lady.
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| Re: a comment on War (edit) by zodiac |
12-Dec-05/8:46 PM |
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Most of us didn't get it. Zodiac's southern born so his metaphors don't have to make sense. It's one of the perks of being southern, I guess.
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| Re: a comment on I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
12-Dec-05/8:34 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
12-Dec-05/8:31 PM |
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Then how do we explain our misfortunes?
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| Re: Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
12-Dec-05/7:34 PM |
Yep, Just like my niece.
Look at the first word of every line. Do you see anything monotonous?
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| Re: Towards the Sun or The keeper of the bay they call a pond by somemorepoetry |
12-Dec-05/7:25 PM |
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The "letters / Of geese" is a weird line.
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| Re: end of the engagement by Mona Lisa |
12-Dec-05/7:18 PM |
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Change "mortally" to "mortem".
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| Re: I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
12-Dec-05/7:11 PM |
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This is OK but many of your comments contain a more impressive use of language than this poem does.
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| Re: Relics in Entropy by PsydewaysTears |
12-Dec-05/7:06 PM |
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So many good words given no use or meaning whatsoever.
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| Re: zimp by calliope |
12-Dec-05/7:00 PM |
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| Re: logan st. by FreeFormFixation |
12-Dec-05/6:58 PM |
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| Re: a comment on donuts and such by skaskowski |
12-Dec-05/6:53 PM |
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Nah, bedposts can stay, lose plaster.
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| Re: War (edit) by zodiac |
12-Dec-05/6:33 PM |
Much easier to read now. I do wonder how you came about the idea of calling Bush Girlie. Maybe Pussy would be closer to Bush, nyuk nyuk.
I checked CNN today, still no bread yet.
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| Re: a comment on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy |
12-Dec-05/4:05 PM |
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They're all real words, words of the day even. Dictionary.com has a backlist of their "words of the day" that go back like 6 years or so. Grab a bunch that you like and when you start your next poem see if you can use any of them. Part of poetry is about expanding the lexicon of language. At $10 a word that comes to $60 please. I'll take cash or check.
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| Re: a comment on Indian Song by ALChemy |
12-Dec-05/3:47 PM |
And in 2 different languages, ya darn show-off.
Mine is hard to do because it also has to get the rhythm of the music perfect. Yours would have to start something like "Duh a furs no oh well" If you can do that and make both versions make sense... well I'll celebrate your birthday instead of Jesus'.
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| Re: a comment on Observer by Dovina |
11-Dec-05/4:37 PM |
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| Re: Emma Barksdale by rahson_s |
10-Dec-05/5:36 AM |
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Lose "eyes wide shut" or you might as well say she was "gone with the wind". I almost feel this would be better in paragraph form presented as a prose poem.
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| Re: a comment on Better Off Dead by wilco |
10-Dec-05/5:25 AM |
That's your idea of porn?
Daaamn!
Good writing though.
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