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Observer (Free verse) by Dovina I observe a mind with facets
watch its anger swell and dwindle
see its joy flap high, then flounder
inhale a smile while passions kindle
Detached and free to lend critique
I watch an actor come of age
capture each new scene in wonder
canât wait to turn the page
Through all, I do not tamper
play moralist or God
for that would cut my pleasure
and make this poem a wad
Up the ladder:
paperclips
Down the ladder:
An Angel
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3333335
Posted: December 9, 2005 11:07 AM PST; Last modified: December 9, 2005 11:07 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.62753 Overall Rank: 2190 Comments:
I love the rhythm to this poem. It was a pleasant read--nice work.
Thanks, Paul.
Thank you, Paul.
Back in good form D.
Actually, smaller than D, but thanks.
Sorry, OK -d-.
"Americans are so enamoured of equality they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom."
As a "typical American" I want unequality, if that means freedom.
I think putting it in the past tense would definitely add to it. Also, I'm not really digging the last stanza (mainly the last line). First two stanzas are a 9 but the last drops it tro a 7.
Past tense is better, and I've already done that. I hate posting revisions though.
The last stanze makes such clever use of the God/wad rhyme, that I really deserve a 9 just for that. 282 view(s)
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From a morality standpoint, as corrupt as ever.
Did you know I'm back in America? This country's not ready for my brand of craziness.
I think we each have a part of ourselves that remains detached and open to whatever emerges within our lives. When the mind becomes used to such disconnected freedom, previously suppressed feelings may surface and can be evaluated objectively. I try to calmly observe without judgment. Each emotion will pass like a cloud in the sky to this observer part of me. When I truly become present without judgment, serene acceptance and deep contentment follow.
The converse is also true. If I judge myself harshly, condemn or punish for imagined failings, I undermine contentment. Itâs part of an ongoing process of accepting myself with the same compassion I would show a child.
- Peter Davison, Poetry Editor of The Atlantic Monthly.
Of course you feel contented. You've deliberately chosen to ignore all your failings in exchange for peace of mind. If observing without judgment isn't divorcing oneself from responsibility, then what is it? It's judgment that separates decent, hardworking people from cockneys. If everyone went around serenely accepting themselves, the incentive for correcting dysfunctional behaviour would have to come from outside. Clearly you aren't old enough to live in anything other than a nanny state. Quite frankly, I'm ashamed of you.
The serenity of which I speak results from separating myself from myself to the extent that I observe my emotions without judgment. After having done this, I find myself in position to evaluate my actions and emotions and to make corrections if needed. These are the two processes, which you have chosen to unite and call, âignore all your failings in exchange for peace of mind.â If you would like further information, I recommend, âContentment â Wisdom from around the world,â by Gillian Stokes, not alone by any means, as many of us from many perspectives have reached this conclusion.
You're right about one thing, though: many people have reached the same conclusion as you. They're called Cockneys, and if any of them could read, I'm sure they'd have whole shelves full of Gillian Stokes self-help claptrap.
Have a contented day.
You've gone completely barking, anyway. How do you find imperfections without performing an act of judgement? Oh wait that happens in phase 2. So what's the point in phase 1? Oh I get it. Phase 1 establishes a mechanism of serene acceptance and contentment -- both important prerequisites for any self-flagellation ceremony!
Here it is to my recollection:
Zodiac: Would you mind clarifying what you mean be "I observe my emotions"? Do you mean that some part of you which is not, say, angry, looks at the angry part without itself feeling anger? Can you really properly say you're angry in that instance? I would really, genuinely, care to understand, but all I come up with is that you're kind of muddy on the idea of emotions in general. For instance:
-=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.: I judge myself to be excellent.
DOVINA: I'm glad you *FEEL* excellent.
-=Dark_Angel=-,P.I.: You are a guff cozy of rather dim emotions.
DOVINA: I'm excellent.
In deference to your sensibilities, I would change one sentence in my response to DA. I would change âCongratulations on your feeling of moral excellenceâ to âCongratulations on your determination of moral excellence. The next sentence, âYou must feel very content in that knowledge.â I would not change.
As for standing apart from my angry self, it takes discipline and practice. You should try it.
2) That's fine with me.
3) If some not-angry part of me was "observing" an angry part of me, I'd say I wasn't really angry. I honestly (and not-snarkily) can't see how it could be otherwise.
DOVINA: Look at me. I'm angry.
ZODIAC: I'm looking at me. I must not really be angry. If I were really angry, I probably wouldn't be capable of looking at myself. I'm sure glad I'm not angry (or even partly angry) practically ever.
What I think you're talking about is detachment from your CIRCUMSTANCES (ie, the situation doesn't make you uncontrollably sad, angry, or whatever), but you've somehow morphed it into detachment from YOUR EMOTIONS (ie, you're sad or angry but simultaneously not sad, angry, etc). You've probably done that because you have all sorts of odd notions about emotions, objectivity, and yourself existing in different realms, instead of all being part of that wonderful package that is Dovina. That's what I've been asking about.
All I ask is that you try it next time you feel fully emotioinally involved in something. It takes practice and discipline. I hope you can get past thinking it's impossible.