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Emma Barksdale (Free verse) by rahson_s Demanding is a woman
having difficulties
living such a stressful life,
a woman missing love,
with her eyes wide shut,
she looks down on us
with the hate for her country
engraved in her eyes,
a woman in love with death,
only she knows the feeling
of being hopeless,
all misunderstands her,
a woman different in style,
her life remains shameless and her
time here on earth remains effortless,
she is definitely having difficulties
living such a precious life
www.utopiawright.com
Up the ladder:
Last dance at the lake
Down the ladder:
A Picture For Danny
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.2
Posted: December 8, 2005 10:57 AM PST; Last modified: December 8, 2005 10:57 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2622466 Overall Rank: 3963 Comments:
[9]
cyan9 @ 84.12.172.126
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8-Dec-05/12:28 PM
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Reply
Ouch.
By the way, the site sends more chills through me the more I read. Heart provoking.
Thanks for the kind words. Im glad you enjoyed the site and the read..
until then.. Rahson_s-
I'm curious if you are the one who wrote this or if it is from Utopia Wright's journals. Also, I'm curious as to your connection to him.
The poem is good but the "definitely" in the next to last line bothers me..I'm not really sure why. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.
Well that's actually pretty damn cool.
Regarding the "definitely", I was thinking that "She, having difficulties living such a precious life." might be good..I don't know...whatever
I can't make the utopiawright link work. What's everyone talking about? I want to see!
i dunno.. it should be working.. www.utopiawright.com
i believe i spelled it right.. try again and let me know.. Thanks for taking the time.. until then Ro-
Okay, it works now.
Lose "eyes wide shut" or you might as well say she was "gone with the wind". I almost feel this would be better in paragraph form presented as a prose poem.
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