Re: There by Dovina	28-Feb-06/1:19 AM
Been there, done that.
Re: part by Adriaan	27-Feb-06/3:49 PM
Drop acid lately?
Re: Today's Spam by nentwined	27-Feb-06/2:59 PM
Reminds me of this skit:) http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1129383135
Re: Filler by MacFrantic	26-Feb-06/5:37 PM
Neat idea.
Re: a comment on An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	26-Feb-06/5:34 PM
I was entertained, Betty. I've been thinking of calling you Betty, I've been thinking that I could call you Betty and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.
Re: An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	26-Feb-06/6:15 AM
This is a great idea. Some of the stuff is a little corny and you're likely to receive many a parody from the jokesters on this site se be ready. I found some of this very amusing in a positive way, especially the ending. Lose "lover of god", it sounds sexual no matter how you put it.
Re: Holding on for Jesus by Everyone	26-Feb-06/5:57 AM
My gift to all of you. http://livedigital.com/APtVJAA9tw/content/22014/p4
Re: a comment on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	26-Feb-06/5:05 AM
You might have mixed someone elses comment with mine while reading my comment. I'm not asking you to change the rhyme scheme or any of your stanzas. I'm only saying you should add a stanza after every few stanzas of speach that is something other than the speach so that you can break the monotony of the speach. Right now figuratively speaking you have Hamlet doing a monologue through 85% of the play which is fine but not all at once. You might be able to drop some stnzas and still make your point also but length doesn't scare me unless I for some reason end up in prison and I'm stuck with a well endowed cellmate that wants to make me his bitch.
Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	25-Feb-06/3:51 PM
Ya know, I ask myself that question every day.
Re: Goodbye by aamir_trichy	25-Feb-06/6:52 AM
This was done in only an hour?!! Tremendous.
Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	25-Feb-06/6:42 AM
No matter how beautiful your writing is (and this is some of the best formal verse I've read) if you write something this long you need to change things up a little, break the monotony. I would break up the man's speach into parts and between the parts a stanza of descriptive narrative like he then paused to go take a nap or something. Break it off into lessons(lesson 1, lesson 2 etc.). At least that way if the reader wanted to take a break they could leave when the man goes to take his nap and come back feeling like they don't have to go back over the last couple stanzas to find their place. The same way a story should have different scenes, the same way a good writer might stop part way through a long scene to go to another one and then holding your suspense conclude the former scene, that's how you should hold the reader to your poem. I think it's probably one of the hardest things to do in poetry but I think it'll be easier for someone as talented as you than it would be for most of us.
Re: a comment on Just Desserts (for drnick) by ALChemy	23-Feb-06/6:27 PM
You're always welcome to blah blah on my poems as much as you like. Your critiques are among my favorites. "Who hasn't learned/that what is earned/might not be rewarded/but if forwarded [?]/may not come on schedule" is not a question but a description of the "fool" in stanza two. Unless your question is what do I mean by "forwarded". I just mean sent or given by that. As far as nature vs one man's peace of mind: If one man hates the sight of the moon should the moon be destroyed? "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" Nature is far greater in scale than one man's needs. Since nature consists of the many, the one is always out numbered. The chalice/palace represents riches and divinity. "He's so focused on the chalice/palace -he might miss what he's won through his own efforts" is right on the mark. The needs of nature is the answer to why his needs aren't all fulfilled and so he should appreciate and seize the gifts and oppertunities that are given to him and not dwell too much on what he didn't get.
Re: a comment on On Looking Back by Dovina	22-Feb-06/3:56 PM
The men in your life are surely light sleepers.
Re: On Looking Back by Dovina	22-Feb-06/11:34 AM
When Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband's willy the women in my family just laughed and laughed. I think it was something like the O. J. verdict for women. It's getting to the point that it's not safe to be a cocky white guy anymore.
Re: a comment on Nude Falling Down Staircase by zodiac	22-Feb-06/7:19 AM
Most art movements have their literary counterpart. I got the part where the reader doesn't know the context and to truly put them in your state of mind is futile which is exactly why you should write for yourself first and foremost. Poems and paintings are just elaborate calling cards. Davinci seems to have known that. Yet I still think there is a mystic quality to art that can't be defined except maybe through art.
Re: a comment on Nude Falling Down Staircase by zodiac	21-Feb-06/10:37 PM
The last line does make more sense that way. I'm sure you've seen the painting. When I first saw it I thought "Yeah, it looks more like he's falling than descending". Do you think the cubist quality of the painting might have subtly influenced the way you wrote this? It seems your trying to demystify art. This would be a side effect of atheism and the reason I avoid atheism. Then again I probably am as usual reading too much into this.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	21-Feb-06/10:19 PM
Yes, the surprise ending, the way you plucked those words out to make such a fine joke and your delivery of the joke were all worthy of a 10 if put in poetic form.
Re: a comment on Just Desserts (for drnick) by ALChemy	21-Feb-06/10:08 PM
I think I got my idea from "It's a Wonderful LIfe" or was it "Bruce Almighty", anyway it's a good lesson. Keep the dreamlike images in your poem though, that was my favorite part.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	21-Feb-06/4:28 PM
Put some of that sharp wit into your poems and they surely won't blow.
Re: The chestnut by richa	21-Feb-06/4:04 PM
Efficient and effective.