Re: Nude Falling Down Staircase by zodiac	21-Feb-06/3:52 PM
Aside from the last line this is a great representation of cubism with a cute parody title. The final lines threw me off though, they don't seem to go with the scattered multi angle picture you've created.
Re: a comment on Just Desserts (for drnick) by ALChemy	21-Feb-06/3:25 PM
Yeah it's an old one I cut and pasted for drnick just to maybe give him some ideas about things he seems to be thinking about. Normally I wouldn't have posted it as I feel it's riddled with glitches. Eventually I steal the best lines of my old poems and put them in new one's so maybe some of this'll get recycled.
Re: Just Desserts (for drnick) by ALChemy	21-Feb-06/2:55 PM
Yes I know it's spelled "Deserts" but that was supposed to be a play on words although a very naive one I will admit.
Re: a comment on Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick	21-Feb-06/2:32 PM
I have an old poem that touches on that same idea(to just enjoy the life you're given) but in a different way. Maybe I'll post it and see if it gives you any ideas.
Re: a comment on Conflict Resolution by Dovina	21-Feb-06/2:19 PM
OK, so what type of hammer? different hammers make different sounds on different surfaces so your simile is still shite. Fear not fair maiden I've come to save the day once again. Change hammer to blacksmith. I await thine handkerchief me lady.
Re: a comment on Sunday i will dream again by Caducus	21-Feb-06/6:50 AM
Don't sell yourself short. I've been quite amazed with the things you've picked up in my poems that most others didn't and you've been much more consistant than me when it comes to nailing the meanings of other posts.
Re: Sunday i will dream again by Caducus	21-Feb-06/6:42 AM
Great love story.
Re: a comment on Sunday i will dream again by Caducus	21-Feb-06/6:40 AM
Here's what I got. A man(perhaps an old man) decides to welcome back into his life the God that he once scorned and rejected for taking his lover(wife) away from him in the desperate hope that someday that God might reunite them. Shoulder war: Chip on his shoulder maybe. 2nd stanza: He relizes he is bound to die. 3rd stanza: He embraces the idea of dying. 4th stanza: Getting older and closer to death. 5th and 6th stanzas: He reminisces about her and mourns her. last stanza: he's preparing and about to die. That's just my guess though.
Re: a comment on Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick	21-Feb-06/6:14 AM
Not if you wished it to be exciting. If all our wishes were granted we'd have to exist in seperate universes or we would eventually be slaves to the wishes of the most creative, ingenious and opportunistic among us.
Re: Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick	21-Feb-06/6:05 AM
I like the beginning lines. Change line 10. Asking for a language that has no lies is like asking for a hammer that hits no thumbs. It's how language is used that dictates whether there are lies present. I don't quite get the last line. Are you saying that your invented world is boring or the world you're in now?
Re: Conflict Resolution by Dovina	20-Feb-06/1:00 PM
What a brat. Nice to see you're using articles in your poems again. You've got everyone doing these kind of narratives now, even zodiac.
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	20-Feb-06/12:44 PM
Great lines. Could use some more punctuation to clear things up a bit. Don't be afraid to throw in a couple plain old boring lines for the sake of connecting the more inventive ones.
Re: a comment on Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	19-Feb-06/4:53 PM
Yes "swim". It just felt weird putting something you were feeling in your bones in quotations but I think you're right. I'm American and you know how ignorant we tend to be about other countries holidays so although Mother's Day, because it falls on sunday, came into play(more so as an afterthought) the term Mothering Sunday was unknown to me until now. It started more as an auditory word play on the opposites "mother" and "son". I have a tendency to stray a little from the structure of my poems in the last lines because I like how it makes them stand out and it seems to give the poem better closure. In this case it sinks the poem into a sense of surrender I think.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	17-Feb-06/5:07 AM
Metaphorically speaking you've got more balls than they do.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:32 PM
I've got some pure English blood too. Oh God I hope it's enough to make him like me.
Re: a comment on Mentally Disabled by drnick	16-Feb-06/7:27 PM
No, her husband works at a nut house. As far as "God" goes, yeah she could but why make her spell out Jehova all those times. I based the ten off from comments alone.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:20 PM
Yeah, they both think I'm black. The quotation marks should have tipped him off though. You can't say I lied to him, I am Irish you know, maybe even Black Irish.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:11 PM
It began with your poem "Racism".
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	16-Feb-06/7:06 PM
Speaking of smart asses, did you know that D. A. still assumes I'm a black man because I quoted the line "I'm black and I'm proud" from an Irish white guy in the movie "The Commitments" many many months ago. He's been trying to offend my "blackness" ever since. The best was when he talked of my brothers in Africa.
Re: The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	16-Feb-06/11:24 AM
I had to look this up so don't feel bad but she didn't rise from the entrails of Poseidon but from Uranus' severed penis. I can certainly see why you wouldn't want to say that though. I only looked it up because I thought she came out of a clam shell. Everything else in the poem is great.