Re: Morning Dreams by ObiWonKn	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:39 PM
"Droplets of you Remain on my branches Dew in the morning The sunlight shines through"....I am stingy with the compliments...that said...awesome lines here! Of course, it sounds vaguely like me, but I can't claim you stole it (as I'd like to be able to), as I have yet to post here! LOL! I also liked the last, very much! "Suddenly, I see you And it isn't just a dream The stars are glitter Dancing through your hair The bitter taste of goodbye Is no longer there Just you Very nice...will be snooping around to see what other morsels you have left lying about. I felt the middle sections were not of the same caliber as the favorite lines I just pointed out. I am giving you a fairly high score (in the way I have been voting), for the lines I mentioned above, and because, having only read a limited number of pieces, this one made me feel hope that I would find a gem among the rough.
Re: For W. by A. Nomaly	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:23 PM
okay...at least this one made me stop to pause, and think, and then try to picture what you said here. I think I'll give THIS one something above a 2...(my 6th one to read on this site)At the least, I think it is interesting, though I am not a fan of this type of piece...at the most, I think you make the reader wonder what lies beneath and behind such a statement. I would like to see this expanded and elaborated on...I suggest continuing the thought started here.It does not seem complete...but perhaps it is, as only you can say.
Re: Colorado by Voth269	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:16 PM
This is only the fifth poem I have read in here...is it just me?! Maybe random is not the way to go...okay...I suggest a comma after 'world', and before 'no doubt'. Do the mountains look wild or tame? could you have elaborated? Could you have painted us a picture? Could you have painted the details of the contrast in colors and textures of plants? I have a suspicion that you could do more and better, if you elaborated, painting a picture with your words.
Re: You tell me I suck *2* by Dead Poet	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:11 PM
This is poetry? Hmmm....and to call someone ignorant, and then to use 'your' for 'you're' (as in, you are), REPEATEDLY....sorry...not impressed...at all.
Re: 2 Faced by jasondingus	LilMsLadyPoet 172.170.96.191	8-Jun-05/9:08 PM
I am not familiar with the voting system...so was not sure of the number to choose. I chose a 2, to be nice. You may be a young person, and a new writer just starting out. The use of commas to break this up (Into the future, im determined to go, Haunted by the past, that still holds me so, I try to think about, the future so bright, But end up remembering, that endless night,) make one read this in a haulting manner...I suggest using commas only where they are needed, (or try thinking: where you would naturally pause). im should be I'm. I see a lot of small mistakes like this in the several pieces of yours that I have read, and it detracts from it. Other than that, personally, I wonder how old you are. You seem young...in content, subject matter and gramar/word usage. It just seems "immature" to me, all the way around. No depth.... I have read a billion mediocre pieces just like this one.
Re: sunset by celticskatermatt1	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/7:04 PM
Touching. Bravo.
Re: a comment on Life by sacred_poet_me	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/7:00 PM
Ahhh...ic. Good for you. I would be surprised if you didnt know that! Then 'someone' is really stupid and clueless! Thanks for da comment.
Re: a comment on Life by sacred_poet_me	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:55 PM
Thank you.
Re: a comment on Oh by sacred_poet_me	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:54 PM
OK.
Re: a comment on Oh by sacred_poet_me	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:54 PM
Ic. Maybe I should simplify it.
Re: a comment on Dreams by lil_evil_boi	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:52 PM
Thankz. The answer to your idea of a title would be no. I just dont thing it's suitable. Thx anywayz.
Re: a comment on Dreams by lil_evil_boi	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:50 PM
Thanks for providing ideas. Greatly appreciated.
Re: Oh by sacred_poet_me	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:47 PM
Nice song but I think it's a bit lengthy. -7-
Re: Life by sacred_poet_me	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	8-Jun-05/6:45 PM
Sentimentally touching. It really taught me what life truly means. The words flowed smoothly, and the repetition of the word 'life' really enhanced the poem. My favourite part is when how s_p_m described the reminders by using the spectrum. It sounded really nicely. Also the ending was spectacular. “One minute I’m here, and the next I’m gone. Into another dimension of darkness.”He really portrayed death in an impressive and dramatic way. Nice wordplay.
Re: Friends? by poodietat	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.17.200	8-Jun-05/2:58 PM
interesting take on friendship.
Re: a comment on Haiku String of the Bee by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.17.200	8-Jun-05/2:51 PM
I don't know.. maybe love for king is unlikely.. but part of me thinks that love is what motivates devotion to a queen... just being a lamer romantic.
Re: Racism by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	8-Jun-05/2:39 PM
-or are we all tigers who dreamt we were people?
Re: Wanted by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	8-Jun-05/2:25 PM
Very striking. The last line of verse 2 bugs me though. Maybe try something like 1880’s migrant lineage. Also what city is this city hall in. Still I like the moment that's captured.
Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	8-Jun-05/1:55 PM
I'm not sure "likely" in verse 2 is necessary. I like the change in tone in the last verse.
Re: a comment on on my hog by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	8-Jun-05/7:10 AM
I suppose Hog implies Harley too strongly? Triumphs have three cylinders (at least, the thunderbird, and the speed triple... and I think everything else--it's their signature the same as Harley's Po-ta-to). This is the first serious poem attempt in some time that's gotten consistently not-high marks. Good to happen. Hopefully I'll find something better in it.