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Wanted (Free verse) by Dovina
Have you ever looked east toward City Hall, its dome illuminated on misty spring night, Romanesque, reminiscent, an ancestor’s image almost visible under its arch? Someone behind you speaks, insipient history swells. You walk beside matriarchs, 1880’s migrants you descend from. Your knees barely hold you, for you belong— there on the sidewalk, so quickly linked. Have you ever stood behind someone, facing east?

Up the ladder: Poem on a face
Down the ladder: Pathetic lill' me..

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.0238404
Overall Rank: 7423
Posted: June 2, 2005 1:13 PM PDT; Last modified: June 2, 2005 1:13 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 2-Jun-05/3:44 PM | Reply
Too much was cut. the other only needed some adJUSTAMENTE. Um, I'll leave my piddle on the other one later . Gotta run, sorry.
[5] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 2-Jun-05/4:25 PM | Reply
Yes, If this is a corrective or alternative of 'Swoon', I miss the man behind you. Here he seems to have become no different from the City Hall and that's a pity.
I guess stanza 3 is the best part.
[5] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.197 | 3-Jun-05/7:35 AM | Reply
Done. and I found something while roaming the ranker halls. Let me get the address....
[5] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.138 > INTRANSIT | 3-Jun-05/7:45 AM | Reply
Here it is. http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=159
what do you think?
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > INTRANSIT | 3-Jun-05/10:03 AM | Reply
It's a good poem about private revenge. But I fail to see how it applies to this poem.
[5] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.138 > Dovina | 3-Jun-05/11:06 AM | Reply
Um, no,heh. I just wanted to point it out. I wasn't rying to relate it to this piece. Please tell me you wander the back rooms of p/r too.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > INTRANSIT | 3-Jun-05/12:33 PM | Reply
Random wandering - sometimes. Specific wandering, like to poets related to rockmage - seldom.
[5] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.204 > Dovina | 3-Jun-05/12:35 PM | Reply
That just happened to be a by-product. Not intentional.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.92.49 | 8-Jun-05/2:25 PM | Reply
Very striking. The last line of verse 2 bugs me though.
Maybe try something like 1880’s migrant lineage. Also what city is this city hall in. Still I like the moment that's captured.
[n/a] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 > ALChemy | 14-Jun-05/3:50 PM | Reply
"1880’s migrant lineage" is a good suggestion.
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