Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Surfer's Prayer (Free verse) by flock
Floating on a sea of troubles, I'm calm. I see the sun set slowly in the sky While the waves gently toss me. Too deep to feel the bottom. Too cold to feel my feet. What lies beneath, I cannot tell. What flies above, I know too well. Who knows what dangers I will meet While drifting on the swell. I thank the Lord for thickened skin. I thank Him for a second wind. I thank Him for the strength to match And every wave I catch.

Up the ladder: A See-Through Prayer
Down the ladder: Weather poem part 6: idols

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Weighted score: 5.0238404
Overall Rank: 7435
Posted: September 20, 2006 9:55 AM PDT; Last modified: September 20, 2006 9:55 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] ecargo @ 167.219.88.140 | 20-Sep-06/10:26 AM | Reply
This has a nice simplicity in rhythm and tone. Watch your cliches (e.g., sea of troubles).
[n/a] flock @ 198.54.202.226 > ecargo | 20-Sep-06/10:33 AM | Reply
Hi ecargo, Tnx for your comment.
I thought the very same thing when I wrote it, but it worked well enough, so I left it as is.
[8] Ranger @ 81.158.79.172 | 20-Sep-06/12:18 PM | Reply
This would be excellent if you could put some more deep, rolling words in to imitate the sound of the sea. Last stanza is nice, although the last line seemed short (not a huge problem though). As ecargo says, beware cliches :-)
[1] Edna Sweetlove @ 85.210.255.61 | 20-Sep-06/5:04 PM | Reply
What the "Lord" has to do with it, I really D.K.
[n/a] flock @ 198.54.202.234 > Edna Sweetlove | 21-Sep-06/12:12 AM | Reply
everything.
[10] nightowl @ 198.54.202.234 | 21-Sep-06/1:29 AM | Reply
everthing and then some. well said. keep riding them waves of life with vigor and with dreams. to god be all the glory. x
177 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001