| Re: a comment on Floss by jauser |
jauser 4.241.15.145 |
3-Aug-05/12:07 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Floss by jauser |
jauser 4.241.15.145 |
3-Aug-05/12:06 AM |
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| Re: a comment on More drugs. by darby pyn |
darby pyn 207.200.116.197 |
2-Aug-05/11:47 PM |
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stepping back and looking at it I see your
point. I really like the last stanza but it
does'nt fit. I can't bring myself to change it though.
I don't know why. you make a valid point.
dam.
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| Re: After He Left by Dovina |
darby pyn 207.200.116.130 |
2-Aug-05/4:44 PM |
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Nice work.
an honest description. 8
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| Re: a comment on writers block by Jesus' Pedometer |
Jesus' Pedometer 80.3.64.12 |
2-Aug-05/4:34 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Then what is the sleeve? by T. Jonathron Remp |
T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185 |
2-Aug-05/1:45 PM |
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I not only suggest it, I impose it.
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| Re: Potato hail by T. Jonathron Remp |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/1:32 PM |
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Absurd! Wonderfully Potato! Superb poem without the potatoing as well! *10*
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| Re: untitled by AaronJKeating |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:08 AM |
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Glorious imagery. Just great. Loved it all the way. *10*
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| Re: Life is not serious by daggatolar |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:07 AM |
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| Re: Mandrakes by Caducus |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:05 AM |
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Strange...yet handy as an all-purpose stain remover and weather-resistant wood finish. *8*
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| Re: writers block by Jesus' Pedometer |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:03 AM |
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Ha! Always an uphill...what's the word? Darn it! *9*
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| Re: HOW IT USUALLY ENDS! by pennymarie |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:01 AM |
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The first stanza ruined it for me, sorry. *6*
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| Re: Wars Between Held Breath's by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/11:00 AM |
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| Re: Wars Between Held Breath's by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:59 AM |
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Better englsih translation and you've got a solid bedtime story here. *7*
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| Re: Floss by jauser |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:57 AM |
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How old are you? Are you expecting positive feedback with this load? Just use the word "fuck", nobody holds it against you. What we do hold against you is your poor spelling, rudimentary grammar, and total lack of poetic understanding. "Tragedic"? COME ON! *2*
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| Re: SO LONG MY BELOVED by prettyktm |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:54 AM |
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Not too many soldiers pussy out like this, and please don't just repeat in the last stanza what you said in the first stanza. I know it's free verse, but the structuring is pitiful. *4*
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| Re: Forgiveness by Niphredil |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:49 AM |
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Very good! I loved "before your blood congeals into hate". Could've done without the misplaced last line. *9*
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| Re: Interstellar Planetary Escape Plan by drnick |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:47 AM |
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It would be more intriguing if it wasn't written like it just came out of "Where the Sidewalk Ends". *7*
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| Re: After He Left by Dovina |
MacFrantic 207.200.116.65 |
2-Aug-05/10:44 AM |
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One of the best ending stanzas I have ever read, but the first one could use a bit of work. It makes sense, but the change in tenses and the last line-in the first stanza-is a bit grey. *9*
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| Re: a comment on What?! by drnick |
drnick 24.247.124.75 |
2-Aug-05/10:29 AM |
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You know what would be awesome? If you could be technical and completely RUIN EVERYTHING...you're completely right, not choosing is a choice...I meant it to be more like, "why have the choice if you always choose to do nothing and waste away into oblivion?" However, I don't think that rhymes. I put up a new poem for you to hate so enjoy ripping that one apart too.
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