Re: Secret Dream-Thoughts of a Married Man by Bethy	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	3-Aug-05/1:30 PM
Adulterous fun
Re: Interstellar Planetary Escape Plan by drnick	Bethy 24.222.32.217	3-Aug-05/10:46 AM
Sounds like an escape from the reality of Divorce...been there... Bethy
Re: Tangled web. by darby pyn	Bethy 24.222.32.217	3-Aug-05/10:43 AM
Chilling yet very revealing...Bethy
Re: a comment on Tangled web. by darby pyn	darby pyn 207.200.116.197	3-Aug-05/10:31 AM
Thank you so much for the spelling and technical points. sometimes I just miss them. this poem is about allot of things. it's hard to explain, hence the poem. I'm glad you liked the parts you did. thank you again.
Re: War by zodiac	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	3-Aug-05/9:09 AM
Maybe a less general title could help wheel it all in? *7*
Re: a comment on Floss by jauser	jauser 4.241.217.62	3-Aug-05/9:02 AM
[lafs] ok.
Re: War by zodiac	Dovina 85.169.62.90	3-Aug-05/7:53 AM
Lives saved for some use which you can't understand and despise as useless. Why call her Girlie, as if she has only flippant wants?
Re: a comment on After He Left by Dovina	Dovina 85.169.62.90	3-Aug-05/7:44 AM
Thanks for the spelling catch. As writers, I think many of us have this fantasy. Thanks.
Re: a comment on After He Left by Dovina	Dovina 85.169.62.90	3-Aug-05/7:42 AM
I'll change remain to remained. Thanks.
Re: War by zodiac	Niphredil 192.114.44.184	3-Aug-05/7:11 AM
Fascinating. But I admit I am confused; too many swirling motives here. Aside from the central bread theme, I'd be happy if you were to clarify "the order of things: a dog, a made bed, a centerpiece, those million, no, billion lives saved for some use I can't imagine - to trip my hands, maybe..." Who are these billion lives? a country? a nation? just people? not even human? who saved them and why?
Re: SO LONG MY BELOVED by prettyktm	zodiac 86.108.11.87	3-Aug-05/5:38 AM
Hi, if you want to talk the language of love and peace, I'd say stop talking about "this isn't my war but I've gotta go cause a man's gotta do his duty and kill people who are just doing their duties and so on and so on". That's what lets wars happen. Personally, I'd pack up for Canada, see what they do when they don't have any more suckers to shoot out of their cannons.
Re: a comment on Floss by jauser	zodiac 86.108.11.87	3-Aug-05/4:54 AM
re "am I asking you to judge my shit?" Actually, yes. Poemranker is "a cross between imaginaries.org (an online writers' workshop) and RankPeople and Hot or Not" made to "Rank the works of others on a 1-10 scale or submit your own poems for ranking". So by posting here you're kind of asking for it. And MacFrantic cares how old you are because if you're 50 and you type like that you ought to be ashamed.
Re: a comment on What?! by drnick	zodiac 86.108.11.87	3-Aug-05/4:44 AM
The most common mistaken assumption on poemranker is that poemranker users are all haters and they're just going to hate everything anyway and ruin everything. No, wait, that's the second most common assumption. The most common mistaken assumption on poemranker is that your poems are perfectly perfect so anyone who criticizes them must be mistaken. Congratulations.
Re: After He Left by Dovina	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	3-Aug-05/1:20 AM
possesseions> spelling error. Other than that...cool! My fav:"Perhaps that's why I hord the world in words with hope that when I die the sum suggests" <I adore this...belongs in the "Writer's Anthem". No, there is no such thing, just in my mind, when I run across words that say our passion, dive, and purpose so eloquently)
Re: Tangled web. by darby pyn	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	3-Aug-05/1:15 AM
their> there clinched> clenched? my woos> ? made up word? (I've been known to use them) or woes? if so then next words don't rhyme. ? I'm too tired to look up> hypocrisy looks mispelled, but it might just not be. This is a strange piece for me to digest...The first stanza makes No sense to me at all, but then the rest seems connected and I decide I like it...so disconnected, and at places hard to read> hard to know where to pause, break, start, stop. You use punctuation, so maybe doing some cleaning up on that would help to clarify some places. Example> 'I’m the one she had not the one who was chosen' Is this to read?: 'I’m the one she had, not the one who was chosen.' You use periods, but no capitalization, other than 'I' and 'A-frame', maybe you would consider fixing that. Besides the technical stuff, and the fact that I am facinated by the strangness of the wording, aaaaaand that I have decided I like alot of the lines...I am not sure what this is even about, or what it is saying...all I know is that it leaves a sour taste in my mouth, a feeling of morbid facination with what ever in the world is going on in this piece- which I suppose is the intent...but.. there is more to it than that, a deeper thing in there...but what? I am not sure! I gave you a fairly high score in spite of what all is wrong with this piece...because I have the feeling there is a gem in there.
Re: Interstellar Planetary Escape Plan by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	3-Aug-05/12:52 AM
I LOVE the last 4 lines! (Lines 5-8 have a good cadence/rythm, as do the last four lines)
Re: a comment on What?! by drnick	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	3-Aug-05/12:20 AM
Whoa, drnick...why have the choice of we never choose, indeed!>I said INDEED! as in I agree! I understood, completely what you were saying in this piece, and agree that apathy is our worst (worse?!) disease! Then I proceeded to think aloud...that is all! (my brain went something like...'but then again, is it not also true that doing nothing is in fact something, as that nothing has an effect, sometimes...and silence, that says volumes, sometimes, and sometimes we create an ill effect with our silence... and we do Something most nasty to ourselves, if we stay silent when we want to scream...') Just my analytical mind strolling along! I did not rip this piece apart, and did not mean anything remotely close to that! I gave you a 7! (and I am not a generous voter!)I like alot about this poem, there are some great lines> the last line, obviously; and then 'Drinking dreams we throw them up' ( graphically and symbolically cool) 'I can't feel for you I'm sick of love', also cool; (could have been the obvious meaning, but also> to be sick OF love, because of love, because of wrong love, bad love, no love...I think all sickness of head and heart starts with "sick of love" (or from), so I liked this line, no matter your original intent of meaning) and this piece has a strange but kinda cool cadence. (although I like it, the 'love' line actually breaks the cadence, but that made me stop to think about the meaning that could have, like a forced pause would have.(One spelling error> dont> don't). NOW...I wouldn't call that 'tearing it apart'; and the first comment wasn't either! Now quit being a moody artiste' and get back to writing! *wink*...off to find the new one you post....
Re: On the Discovery of Hats and a Jaunting Ogre by MacFrantic	jauser 4.241.15.145	3-Aug-05/12:10 AM
your stuff is good, I would thot of u better. Too bad you don't comment as good as you write.
Re: untitled by AaronJKeating	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	3-Aug-05/12:10 AM
That was great. so imaginative.
Re: a comment on Floss by jauser	jauser 4.241.15.145	3-Aug-05/12:08 AM
also, wtf? am I asking you to judge my shit? why does it bother you so much? for how old I am or nething about me or my shit? think u gotta have it your way don't u well guess what, no