Re: Katrina by jessicazee	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	2-Sep-05/10:29 AM
Could be really good, but the line "The quarter is French" is quite odd. Almost as odd as the French. Perhaps that's what you meant by it...
Re: Prick by Enkidu	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	2-Sep-05/10:27 AM
Yeah...this fell apart. I get what you are trying to say here...but you need to revamp it.
Re: Intrusion by Sasha	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.67	2-Sep-05/10:12 AM
To feel...a curse and a blessing. Do you taste your lover on the wind, feel weakened by a sickened tree, hear another's soul cry through the touch of their hand? Are you blessed and cursed with a knowing? I would have emailed you, but you do not provide that option here. One thing about the poem...creep and creek was a little rough going. >"The former river creep as a low creek." Also...wouldn't crept be the correct word?
Re: a comment on Foreplay by INTRANSIT	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	2-Sep-05/9:41 AM
Ah...but if you had stayed you could have died fat and happy! I can't post today...but have a fun one for next post...fits this very well...Oh...and, yours is more food oriented than my "To Know You". Alternate ending?>(So call me a glutton, and let me die full within you!)*wink
Re: a comment on Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	2-Sep-05/9:20 AM
I understand the meaning of 'it', but to start sentences with so many Its...that was what I was commenting on.
Re: Prick by Enkidu	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	2-Sep-05/7:45 AM
I enjoyed it, until "Go live among your awesome aunts" took me out of the poem.
Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	2-Sep-05/7:40 AM
Not deep enough to be a repudiation of omnipresence; just deep enough to be flooded, gutted, and razed.
Re: Stranger by MacFrantic	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	2-Sep-05/7:35 AM
Third stanza is a bit shaky. Otherwise good. *8*
Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera	Bethy 24.222.32.224	2-Sep-05/7:10 AM
Mary Pickford once said it wasn't the falling down, but the staying down...Bravo!excellent! :) Bethy
Re: Is This My Country? by PodPoet	Bethy 24.222.32.224	2-Sep-05/7:00 AM
I loved New Orleans, I was there at last Mardi Gras...It breaks my heart to watch the helplessness, aid is on the way...God Bless :) Bethy
Re: a comment on matrimonal enemy by hendrimike	hendrimike 69.253.194.186	2-Sep-05/6:54 AM
thanks...
Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	Bethy 24.222.32.224	2-Sep-05/6:53 AM
a magician !!! or one of the three stooges, hehe haha!! good one Jon!!! :) Bethy
Re: Urbane Jane by MacFrantic	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	1-Sep-05/7:38 PM
it's a keeper.
Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	1-Sep-05/7:17 PM
OOOOOH!!! and the sub-poem too! wow.
Re: Child Shaped Adult by http://mulberryfairy	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	1-Sep-05/7:16 PM
Good to see you're still at it! I miss god's wife. Don't you? This is really great, I love it.
Re: The Right Thing To Do by Bethy	wilco 66.61.101.130	1-Sep-05/6:02 PM
okay, but whats the point.
Re: Katrina by jessicazee	wilco 66.61.101.130	1-Sep-05/5:56 PM
I'd lose the fifth stanza. We don't need a Zeppelin reference. Lose the The in the fourth stanza and your pretty good.
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.138	1-Sep-05/3:57 PM
Oh...I didn't know! I will have to find it and have a listen. So I take it it is not as sexy as Bowie's version? Bowie's is Hot, Hot, sizzling Hot! (In my opinion...!)
Re: a comment on I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	1-Sep-05/12:10 PM
I like your suggestion. Thank you
Re: a comment on I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	patty t 70.30.211.173	1-Sep-05/11:44 AM
actually, I'd keep the last 'i can' too