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Prick (Free verse) by Enkidu You there,
Standing in the rain,
Tell me where you're from again.
'Cause all you do
Is pace and spout about
What this place can do without.
Go home then
And stop this rant
Go live among your awesome aunts
Who, You tell me,
Hate the rain.
Just make sure you do refrain
From making fun of where you be
'Cause here your sorry ass ain't free.
Up the ladder:
everything Zen
Down the ladder:
Damn you, Feeling.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.75
Posted: September 1, 2005 10:44 PM PDT; Last modified: September 1, 2005 10:44 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.8509965 Overall Rank: 10560 Comments:
[7]
T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185
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2-Sep-05/7:45 AM
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Reply
I enjoyed it, until "Go live among your awesome aunts" took me out of the poem.
Yeah...this fell apart. I get what you are trying to say here...but you need to revamp it.
Yep, completely fell apart. The first half is not bad and the second half is awful.
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