Re: a comment on I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	patty t 70.30.211.173	1-Sep-05/11:42 AM
delete entirely, except for the first 'i can'. makes it more vivid, action-oriented as opposed to possibility. some syllables may need to be tweaked to optimize rhythm of course
Re: a comment on I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	1-Sep-05/11:26 AM
Do you have a suggestion for a change?
Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	patty t 70.30.211.173	1-Sep-05/10:29 AM
very funny. are all those 'i cans' really necessary? -
Re: Comment Ranker (Favorites) by MacFrantic	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	1-Sep-05/9:25 AM
[Comment Ranker (Favorites) by MacFrantic] "This poem makes me want to impregnate your daughter, then impregnate the resulting child, and continue that trend for twelve hundred iterations resulting in a child so twisted and recursive in form as to be worthy of being smeared across your face. *4*"
Re: a comment on ... by Jezabele-In-Hell	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	1-Sep-05/9:15 AM
All I meant to say is that "you" can't be stuck within "yourself" because "yourself" and "you" are the same thing. You can't ever say that a Set A is within Set A because it doesn't make any sense; The boundaries of "you" and "yourself" are always identical and so there can be no way for one to be within the other. When you say that there is an "I" that is different than and within "myself," they are claiming that the mind is something different or beyond the physical brain. However, if you meant to say that your brain is stuck within your body, then that is reasonable, since Set A (your brain) is different than Set B (your body). Anyway, I apologize for the confusion. I just meant to say that the last line seemed specious to me at the time.
Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	1-Sep-05/8:55 AM
Quit -the- din, i think would be better. Otherwise, I hope to see this in the top twenty soon.
Re: a comment on I'm too friggin' rich to even title this poem by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	1-Sep-05/8:28 AM
What movie?
Re: Summer Song by wilco	Sasha 68.49.8.49	31-Aug-05/3:42 PM
The lines seem too long for the subject matter they contain
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	Sasha 68.49.8.49	31-Aug-05/3:15 PM
I think you extended the metaphor beyond its shelf-life. It feels cluttered by abstractions to fill in the places where imagination fails. Other than that good.
Re: a comment on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.159.221.190	31-Aug-05/1:43 PM
I was once a free spirit... until the weight of the world crushed my hopes, my dreams, my micro-machines, and worst of all, my legs. I've been in a Wheeled-Chair for more than 60 years now. Life doesn't seem worth living. The only thing that gets me up in the morning is a giant pneumatic hoist.
Re: Fellowship Of The Sun by eros	Bethy 24.222.32.225	31-Aug-05/1:34 PM
You've taken my breath away...:) Bethy
Re: The Blood Of Life by eros	Bethy 24.222.32.225	31-Aug-05/1:31 PM
Beautiful...:) Bethy
Re: Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp	Sasha 68.49.8.49	31-Aug-05/12:34 PM
Music but what else
Re: a comment on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	31-Aug-05/12:08 PM
I went scouting for foreign and exotic rhymes to use in my poems. Consider this couplet from a Yetxarian death-tribe in the Pelmati Desert: Ixkapa detripontix flovixkeragla vope / Trixdapa hetripontix plovixteragla kope. Which means: Ten nights without water / Same as one night without [untranslatable word that means something along the lines of sex+music+shot-from-cannon+pastry]. They are considered to be some of the most thrill-seeking zen-trance masters in their quadrant; they sleep/meditate for hours upon hours and then suddenly jump up and thrash about for minutes, followed once again by deep mind-hibernation.
Re: a comment on Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	31-Aug-05/11:49 AM
Yes but only if you send a picture
Re: Geraldine Florentine, MD by T. Jonathron Remp	Bethy 24.222.32.250	31-Aug-05/11:16 AM
These words are sooooo good, may I copy and tape it to my fridge...:) Bethy
Re: Song of the cannonball ( a drinking song) by INTRANSIT	Bethy 24.222.32.250	31-Aug-05/11:14 AM
this is fun! yep a drinking song fer sure...:) Bethy
Re: Summer Song by wilco	Bethy 24.222.32.250	31-Aug-05/11:10 AM
good lyrics... *8* :) Bethy
Re: a comment on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy	Bethy 24.222.32.250	31-Aug-05/11:05 AM
spelling...:) :) ty Bethy
Re: a comment on The Right Thing To Do by Bethy	Bethy 24.222.32.250	31-Aug-05/11:02 AM
Whew! thank goodness, that was a close call...I give you a *10* for your apology... ;) ;) ;) oops there must be something in my eye...oh, its just a tear...:) Bethy :) all better now