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I've often been known to make people laugh (Free verse) by T. Jonathron Remp
I've often been known to make people laugh, I can tickle your fancy with a comical gaff, Stand on my head while juggling sticks, Stunning the crowd with anatomical tricks, Twirl a wand or a butterfly knife, Causing commotion and light-hearted strife, Eat a whole bird at the drop of a hat, Or stick one up the rear end of a cat, Twirl around and fondle your sister, And disappear before she knew what had hit her, Swing from a rope and slice off your nose, Just in time to strike a big pose, Appear in a flash while you're laying in bed, And strap a time bomb to the top of your head, Kidnap your daughter while uniclycling fast, And hold her under water to see how long she will last, Rip out your kidneys while focusing hard, And finally exclaim, "Is this your card?" I've often been known to make people laugh, But I've also been known to saw them in half

Down the ladder: Overheard in a crypt:

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5821
Posted: September 1, 2005 9:00 AM PDT; Last modified: September 1, 2005 1:36 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] patty t @ 70.30.211.173 | 1-Sep-05/10:29 AM | Reply
very funny.
are all those 'i cans' really necessary?

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[n/a] T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185 > patty t | 1-Sep-05/11:26 AM | Reply
Do you have a suggestion for a change?
[8] patty t @ 70.30.211.173 > T. Jonathron Remp | 1-Sep-05/11:42 AM | Reply
delete entirely, except for the first 'i can'. makes it more vivid, action-oriented as opposed to possibility. some syllables may need to be tweaked to optimize rhythm of course
[8] patty t @ 70.30.211.173 > patty t | 1-Sep-05/11:44 AM | Reply
actually, I'd keep the last 'i can' too
[n/a] T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185 > patty t | 1-Sep-05/12:10 PM | Reply
I like your suggestion. Thank you
[10] Bethy @ 24.222.32.224 | 2-Sep-05/6:53 AM | Reply
a magician !!! or one of the three stooges, hehe haha!! good one Jon!!! :) Bethy
[9] LilMsLadyPoet @ 152.163.100.67 | 2-Sep-05/10:38 AM | Reply
Ha- HA! Excellent...One thing though.. at>
"Twirl around and fondle your sister,
And disappear before she knew what had hit her,"
...it seems a little out of rhythm right there...perhaps?> "What'd hit 'er" to speed it up some?
[5] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 2-Sep-05/11:44 AM | Reply
I've been known to give people zeroes for crappy poems..I'm just gonna give this one a 5 though because it did actually make me chuckle a little.
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