I've often been known to make people laugh, I can tickle your fancy with a comical gaff, Stand on my head while juggling sticks, Stunning the crowd with anatomical tricks, Twirl a wand or a butterfly knife, Causing commotion and light-hearted strife, Eat a whole bird at the drop of a hat, Or stick one up the rear end of a cat, Twirl around and fondle your sister, And disappear before she knew what had hit her, Swing from a rope and slice off your nose, Just in time to strike a big pose, Appear in a flash while you're laying in bed, And strap a time bomb to the top of your head, Kidnap your daughter while uniclycling fast, And hold her under water to see how long she will last, Rip out your kidneys while focusing hard, And finally exclaim, "Is this your card?" I've often been known to make people laugh, But I've also been known to saw them in half