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Katrina (Free verse) by jessicazee
The hurricane is a galaxy on TV The bayou folk ride alligators with charms and hexes Dead bodies float or sink the Civil War veterans The quarter is French submerged a truly sea level A levee breaks just like the song calamity, a wet

Up the ladder: Me
Down the ladder: Kristi's Quiescence

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
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.. 11
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.111111
Weighted score: 5.5555553
Overall Rank: 2464
Posted: August 30, 2005 10:00 PM PDT; Last modified: August 30, 2005 10:00 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.116.69 | 31-Aug-05/6:17 AM | Reply
I like the first and second stanzas. 3 needs its lines shuffled and delete the -the- in the fourth, this will connect the two. take a rasp to the english and the end seems to be dangling, unfinished, as if suddenly washed away. ees goot.
[8] Bethy @ 24.222.32.250 | 31-Aug-05/10:40 AM | Reply
good poem, kinda hangs at the end, but good *8* :) Bethy
[7] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 1-Sep-05/5:56 PM | Reply
I'd lose the fifth stanza. We don't need a Zeppelin reference. Lose the The in the fourth stanza and your pretty good.
[6] T. Jonathron Remp @ 128.252.229.185 | 2-Sep-05/10:29 AM | Reply
Could be really good, but the line "The quarter is French" is quite odd. Almost as odd as the French. Perhaps that's what you meant by it...
[6] Dovina @ 12.96.171.27 | 2-Sep-05/11:14 AM | Reply
Yeah, It does look like a galaxy from space. A comma after sink would clarify. A wet what?
[5] PodPoet @ 68.6.188.203 | 6-Sep-05/10:49 PM | Reply
Please consider submitting this wonderful poem to http://hellicane.blogspot.com -- poems by, for and about the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Thanks.
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