Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

matrimonal enemy (Lyric) by hendrimike
you just keep on pushing me backwards and forwards thru time and i can't keep on livin' with anger for what is not mine turning me around again and again to come home and i can't keep from crying and slamming down the phone i just keep on pushing you backwards and forwards thru time and you couldn't keep livin' with anger for what's not yours turning me around again and again to come home and you hold the reciever and break down again on the phone put a nickel in the machine my girl spin the wheel to see what you win it's a lifetime with me your matrimonal enemy the burning smell of smoke in the bar the kids are gone sleeping off the day and i came here to drink it away she calls the bar for me to say can't you come home? won't you come home? put a nickel in the machine my girl spin the wheel to see what you win it's a lifetime with me your matrimonal enemy and in the night, when it finally ends stumble home to the mess that i'm in you're waiting there with the kids in your hands you are leaving me in our beat up minivan off into darkness you drove away and i sat in the kitchen and waited for day you never came home or called again this was our life and this is how it ends put a nickel in the machine my girl spin the wheel to see what you win it's a lifetime with me your matrimonal enemy

Up the ladder: Fate is Great
Down the ladder: petal soft whispers

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Weighted score: 5.1490035
Overall Rank: 5258
Posted: June 7, 2005 7:28 PM PDT; Last modified: August 30, 2005 6:45 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 | 7-Jun-05/8:08 PM | Reply
Hi. Just curious, where did you get the lyrics from? What song? I find the lyrics touching. Somehow. <7>
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.122.122 > lil_evil_boi | 7-Jun-05/8:12 PM | Reply
i guess i picked the wrong category...i wrote it.
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > hendrimike | 7-Jun-05/8:23 PM | Reply
Really? Amazing. You could be a songwriter when you grow up. Unless you already are. It's probably so good that it sounds like a song. I dont think you've posted it under the wrong category. It's good. I wonder if others think it's a song too.
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.122.122 > lil_evil_boi | 7-Jun-05/8:29 PM | Reply
i am in my mid-twenties...i wrote it as a song...got to learn that geetar though
[n/a] sacred_poet_me @ 70.68.76.244 | 7-Jun-05/8:53 PM | Reply
WOW. THis song is lovely. <8>
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > sacred_poet_me | 7-Jun-05/9:19 PM | Reply
You thought it was an actual song too? LOL. Me 2. But Hendrimike actaully wrote it. Isnt that amazing?
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.122.122 | 7-Jun-05/9:11 PM | Reply
what's up with the voting/rank system on this site...my votes disappeared
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > hendrimike | 7-Jun-05/9:20 PM | Reply
Bizarre...
[9] zodiac @ 212.118.19.246 | 8-Jun-05/10:46 PM | Reply
Idle question: Is there any machine in any part of America that still runs on nickles?

PS-Your votes disappear when you edit. Don't bother complaining to nentwined about it. It'll just make you embarassed in the morning.
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.122.122 > zodiac | 10-Jun-05/12:44 AM | Reply
rockmage's vibrating bed
[9] zodiac @ 212.118.19.246 > hendrimike | 11-Jun-05/12:25 AM | Reply
Oh. I mean, I just thought it was one of those things that people say in songs because people say them in songs, like calling a guitar a "six string" or standing in the rain with a knife in your heart and the wounds never heal and so on. That is, you could just say it's a quarter instead of a nickel. A dollar, even. Unless you want people to think you live in the 30s.
[n/a] hendrimike @ 151.204.6.124 > zodiac | 17-Jul-05/2:40 PM | Reply
i just thought that nickel flowed better into the word in. "quarter in the machine..." i don't like it. same with dollar.
[9] zodiac @ 212.118.19.104 > hendrimike | 18-Jul-05/11:04 PM | Reply
Yeah, that's probably why people have said "nickel in the machine" since machines actually ran on nickels. The problem isn't really the wording, it's that the whole image is way past its prime.
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.117.116 > zodiac | 19-Jul-05/3:00 PM | Reply
i should have been born in the thirties, i guess. i'm a throwback...
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.17.52.234 | 30-Aug-05/6:46 PM | Reply
made subtle changes
[7] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 30-Aug-05/6:55 PM | Reply
I agree that the nickel sounds a bit odd. Maybe you could say coin...or put your change in the machine...maybe that would work..otherwise pretty good overall...
There's a couple of places that are a little inconsistent and could be a problem if you put it to music...but maybe not...depending on what kind of a song you want it to be.
[10] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 31-Aug-05/9:43 AM | Reply
I don't like the word "Mini-van" in any poem.
[8] Bethy @ 24.222.32.250 | 31-Aug-05/10:48 AM | Reply
by the time I read to the end of this poem/lyric, I was singing it...now it will be in my head all day...lol excellent emotions...:) Bethy *8*
[n/a] hendrimike @ 69.253.194.186 > Bethy | 2-Sep-05/6:54 AM | Reply
thanks...
253 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001