Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	daniella 127.0.0.1	22-Feb-15/7:21 AM
there is a lot of feeling and outrage and sadness that is begging poetic justice in this poem
Re: a comment on Some of us by daniella	daniella 127.0.0.1	22-Feb-15/7:19 AM
thank you :) where are all the good people?
Re: Sense {non} by Skamper	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:39 PM
the second stanza is your poem. drop the rest. maybe explore that more, or maybe don't. 6 for the poem as whole.
Re: The Spell(Alice part I) by alvinb	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:36 PM
I really like the potential of the first two stanzas, but the rest disappoints, for me—give me more color, more shifting, more playing with vision (other than bright/dark). Though loss poems are particularly hard to do, in that the general doesn't connect and the particular may be too particular. And they are done, and done, and done--but try to dig into more senses, cohere it all, and don't give up....
Re: Some of us by daniella	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:31 PM
cute :)
Re: Untitled Future by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:30 PM
I like how it leaves me hanging, but that's all that strikes me....
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:30 PM
some nice images (or well-coined/well-conveyed), but doesn't really work for me as a poem.
Re: Bill of Rights on A4 by T. Jonathron Remp	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:28 PM
not following...nice flow/sounds.
Re: A mag that PAYS??? by SupremeDreamer	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:27 PM
It paid semi-pro rates regardless; the "if it sells" was the long-tail dream of icing on the cake.
Re: One Fine Day by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:26 PM
good luck!
Re: Why we're here by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:25 PM
Consciousness exists to destroy itself—from pain to pleasure, to make the pain go away—and retreat back to the nothingness from whence it came.
Re: THE MASTER by ARTIE	nentwined ::1	30-Jan-15/1:23 PM
interesting idea, but I'm not feeling it.
Re: SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL by ARTIE	nentwined 127.0.0.1	30-Jan-15/1:21 PM
This feels like you're writing from the heart, trying to find the words to make it more universal...but the effect for me is just that's it's more generic/bland. The T'was feels affected, and [broken] stands out in an odd way as you're not playing with/using punctuation anywhere else....
Re: it is my turn this season by daniella	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-15/3:12 PM
If your heart beats fire beneath another and then you ride him into the ocean... did you switch places? Overall I liked it. reminds me that there is another lobe to the brain - not left nor right but from the "light side" of the brain. Gotta check out Daphne's website...
Re: It snows in July by daniella	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-15/3:04 PM
hair weeping.... brain thinking because the night sky was weeping into your hair... Now I am weeping and the tears are seeping but I gotta stop to wipe my nose - Overall I like it - 7.5
Re: what is poetry 101 by Skamper	T. Jonathron Remp ::1	23-Dec-14/9:52 AM
correct
Re: Pakistan school massacre by Dhanesh M Kumar	T. Jonathron Remp 127.0.0.1	23-Dec-14/9:50 AM
pretty good
Re: Hey by impert&ent	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	28-Oct-14/1:30 PM
When lit only by a fading memory, it's the sleeping neurons that require enlight-&-ment.
Re: a comment on A mag that PAYS??? by SupremeDreamer	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	28-Oct-14/1:17 PM
Ah yes, the aloneness of drinking isn't really selfish, more like "Dev-lish". Unleash the demons!
Re: She Dreams of Yesterday by Phalkon	ARTIE 127.0.0.1	28-Oct-14/1:07 PM
She dreams of yesterday - because now that she has opened her mind to the reality of despair, she harkens back upon a simpler time.