poemranker ::SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL by ARTIE

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Free verse № 160092

SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL

by ARTIE

Member since 2002 · Posted 26 Jan 2015 · 2 comments

Sometimes it is slow other times it seems painful. But I now know from within the depths of my heart I was prepared to believe in you I believed you would be there... forever. I believed that you were different, that you could be the one to have heard such a beautiful song. T’was the song from my heart and why I felt broken when at the loss of your touch your innermost thoughts the light in your eyes and your everlasting smile. I feel [broken] for such a loss. Where are you now when I need you the most?

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mean 2.67 weighted 4.72 rank 11915 views 3 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[3] nentwined 30-Jan-15/1:21 PM Reply
This feels like you're writing from the heart, trying to find the words to make it more universal...but the effect for me is just that's it's more generic/bland.

The T'was feels affected, and [broken] stands out in an odd way as you're not playing with/using punctuation anywhere else....
[4] SupremeDreamer 7-Apr-15/5:53 PM Reply
Cliché, yeah, near pimple status? Oh... none of us want to know what parody i'd make of this... too fuckin easy, aye. Do you wish me to judge thy heart,
or thy ART? This poem.. I give a four, so that thy heart might not sour. :)