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SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL (Free verse) by ARTIE
Sometimes it is slow other times it seems painful. But I now know from within the depths of my heart I was prepared to believe in you I believed you would be there... forever. I believed that you were different, that you could be the one to have heard such a beautiful song. T’was the song from my heart and why I felt broken when at the loss of your touch your innermost thoughts the light in your eyes and your everlasting smile. I feel [broken] for such a loss. Where are you now when I need you the most?

Up the ladder: At The End
Down the ladder: What if...

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.6666667
Weighted score: 4.72186
Overall Rank: 11858
Posted: January 26, 2015 2:20 AM PST; Last modified: January 26, 2015 2:20 AM PST
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Comments:
[3] nentwined @ 127.0.0.1 | 30-Jan-15/1:21 PM | Reply
This feels like you're writing from the heart, trying to find the words to make it more universal...but the effect for me is just that's it's more generic/bland.

The T'was feels affected, and [broken] stands out in an odd way as you're not playing with/using punctuation anywhere else....
[4] SupremeDreamer @ ::1 | 7-Apr-15/5:53 PM | Reply
Cliché, yeah, near pimple status? Oh... none of us want to know what parody i'd make of this... too fuckin easy, aye. Do you wish me to judge thy heart,
or thy ART? This poem.. I give a four, so that thy heart might not sour. :)
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